Hello, and welcome to the Second Edition of the Blue Report!
There be all sorts of fun in this issue. Just look to the article list to your left!
This is including, but not limited to: Iain writing the introduction (reason enough to read this issue, it has been blessed by the mere act of my fingers typing into a box relating to it, leaving aside the programming in the first place... umm... yes); FM putting himself up for special rank nominations; and all sorts of Updates. Some of which may not be being written in collaboration between Green Fonted Nightmares and Nightmare Trinities. Oh no no no no.
Tip: To read an article, click the link to the article to your left. When you have finished reading the article, click the "[Article List]" link at its end.
Without further ado... enjoy the Blue Report! Any comments, feel free to email them into me (Iain), and I'd be more than happy to make sure they reach all the right people!
This is it ... this is the end.
Correction; it has been brought to my attention that this is in fact not the end, but the OZD Update. Oops. Well, mistakes do happen. Or, more accurately, events occur that, if they transpired due to a mere mortal, would be regarded as a mistake - but if it's Iain leading said events, they are no longer mistaken, but the universe itself must adapt such that Iain is in fact correct.
Naturally following on from this is our update. Yes. Firstly, we must say goodbye to JP, who has decided to step down from the OZD after many months of service, due to his other OTF committments. Thank you for all that you have done in your time in the OZD, JP! (Yes, I could use more acronyms there, if I tried!)
Brady has this month devised a cunning action plan for the OZD! Top of the list is complete and total domination of OTF, and then the world. ... ahh, that is to say, based on the fact that I am being glared at, please forget that I divulged this plan. The other parts of the plan featured projects such as improving the avatar set in the ST chatrooms, shaking things up a little with themed weekends (more info to follow - watch this space!), and a possible project in collaboration with the Notwerk (once again, watch this space. You know the drill!).
With my creating the v2 armory, we also have some plans here, to spruce it up a little. Zildjian has been working on images for the armory - thanks, Zild! We have a solid concept for the ST themed armory, which will go live Real Soon Now.
I have also been stirring up controversy with the apparently-innocuous Friends list trial. It seems to have been regarded widely as a move to destabilise Mih (Man in Hat). I deny any and all allegations, as I was in fact in Bermuda at the time in question.
Finally, I'd like to extend my congratulations to Kayana and Raine. These two Agents have repeatedly gone beyond the call of duty in the OZD, and have as such earned the title of "Special Agent" for their hard work. Congratulations!
His Greatness - The Supreme Overlord of Informational Technology and Master of the Matrix
(and Acting ST SC, when Brady's in a quasi-existential, aka travelling, state)
Hey hey, welcome to the new Bothan Report on recent Senate activity!
Because AJ has been sent on a typical diplomatic mission to intercept trans... gressions... made by the government of Commenor against some laws that I'm hoping Hobbie will have invented by the time I finish typing this - Keep stalling, sweetheart, I'm not quite done yet! - well, since AJ's off doing that, I'm the one writing this. Don't like it? Pray that we do not alter things any further!
Please do listen to her. I've done enough altering as it is, she tends to react violently to complaints and I'm the one standing next to her. At least you can still stand, count yourself lucky.
Moving on! The Senate has been unusually qui... well behaved this month. Quite possibly, this is due to the fact that the last time Osiris and Hobbie tried to stir things up a bit, they got into a bit of trouble. It was just a standard takeover attempt, I still don't see what the big deal is, it happens on a weekly basis... But at least being on forced leave gives me time to plot the next one. Anyone interested, feel free to join in by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org, we need doers in our organisation. Yeah, he's not too good with the actual dirty work. *g* Being filthy has some disadvantages, I found out. I don't want to know! Let me get on with this already, IÂ’m trying to be serious.
At the start of the month, we did have some excitement and a bit of
consternation when we sent Iain to be plugged into the hyperdrive. However, since we put Eagle
in charge of it, he plugged Iain into OTF by mistake. The result, as you probably all saw,
was that Iain transformed TF into a Matrix chatroom. This move had unexpected effects on
the Cantina - the rank system was turned on its head and everyone logging in got random
ranks for the whole day, until we managed to fix it.
It was madness; people were being promoted and demoted within seconds, and Iain as commodore was as
scary a sight as I ever want to see. As a result, Eagle has been sent to an
intensive course to bring him up to date on Star Wars technology, while Iain was forced to
go through the entire OTF code to spot bugs. As he seems to have enjoyed that a little too much,
we are currently looking into other means to torment him. Yeah, who would've thought
bug-watching could be so enjoyable. Maybe we should stick him head first into an ant hill,
then he can watch real bugs. Sounds good, I'll add it to the list of suggestions.
Keep them distracted while I do so. Or dress him up as a flower and deposit him near
a bee hive... *dreams* I like the sound of that. 'Make it so'? *g*
You just like the thought of seeing Iain as a flower
girl. It'd be pretty
disturbing, but think about the incriminating pictures... I'd prefer not to, thanks.
Anyway, moving along! We did get the whole mess fixed in the end, and AJ's lawyer training finally came in handy when he managed to come up with a convenient excuse. Rumour has it that some people weren't best pleased at losing their new ranks, but those people have been silenced. We can thank Jaden and Osiris for that. Most of the weapons in the armoury ended up having to be discarded due to having been overused but, overall, it was worth it. Mhmm... fireworks... ...in parking lots... I mean landing platforms. Hey, wait a sec, is that why we have the new armory? It's all falling together now... Took you long enough to catch on. Iain still believes the excuse AJ came up with, about some malfunction in the double-bladed lightsaber that spread to the rest of the weapons, so keep the real reason under wraps. Like usual, got it. And you've managed to distract me now, what am I supposed to be writing about? Uhm, I have no idea? It's not like it's my job to know what the update's meant to be on... I'll beat you till you do know! Wait, this isn't my top ten favourite ways to harm Hobbie, is it? It's all coming back to me now!
In other Senate related news, Bria and Hobbie are rumoured to have arranged a clandestine meeting
the South Passage Europe only recently. No information has been forthcoming
as to what was discussed at this meeting, but a few patrons around OTF have been overheard voicing
a bad feeling about the whole affair. The Senate is, consequently,
officially denying all such rumors, obviously made up by Man in Hat, to keep the spotlight
off Iain visiting his "relatives". The situation is being taken care of as our lawyers are
pleading a diplomatic mission aimed at opening new trade lanes between Adumar and Corellia,
based on evidence cunningly faked by QD and Majin. Ah yes, the good old diplomatic
missions. Whoever invented that term deserves a medal. Or to be shot, probably both.
Well, we can give him a medal and then shoot him. Much like the awards ceremony at Yavin 4...
except with shooting. Or we can give QD the medal and shoot Majin, that works too.
Works with me. Hey, do you think people are still reading? If they are, I both pity
and applaud them. I definitely don't envy them. But we should get back to that diplomatic
mission, anyway, and sorting out the various medals and shootings and professors lurking
around with power flux cables. All the while avoiding the wrath of all those
people glaring at us for hijacking the update, yes. Excuse me, who hijacked the update?
I was doing well till you turned up! Which didn't take long.
Anyway, that's it for this month folks, I promise that things will be slightly more tame next time around! As for me, I'll go and instill some diplomacy in Hobbie now.
The CCC's Duo Infernale,
Senator of Corellia
Senator of Adumar
And now a competition created by the OZD's very own Kayana! *Ed note: (and Iain!)
Rank the FM!
OK, that's not the competition's real name. But, it's what it will, this month, be about.
Firstly, our kindly-consenting-to-be-the-center-of-attention candidate: FM (CL6)!
Your task will be to submit a suitable rank for our very own FM. It could be "Nachoman" or "Superman", whatever the suitably inspired mind can come up with, so send in all of your creative ranks! Submissions close May 20 so make sure you send 'em in fast.
Good luck. This is no easy task.
The result may even be the rank being implemented for a little while... so you have everything to gain, and nothing to lose!
(OK, that was a slight exaggeration, but enter. You know you want to. Or, at least, that I want you to.)
Unfortunately, ST Patron of the Month Zild's interview had to be cut short due to several untimely remarks on Zild's part. Zild is currently resting at home with a nice cold compress and working on his global domini- er health and will be returning to his normal duties shortly. The ISA would like to thank Zild's wellwishers in advance and note that there is NO possibility you can get a headache from a light phaser burn. That is all.
That is all.
Without further ado...
There's something about SG...
Well, let's see. Where to begin? SG was born at some point in the last millenium. He is also a male. She lives in Ireland. Currently SG resides in Dublin, while working for a big bank. This may or may not be a front for a black ops agency, my role there, and an alias to protect my friends and family... :?
I've been roaming the corridors of OTF for... God! 4 years now? That can't be right? Wow! 4 years... time flies! However, there was that second year where I was more absent than active, due to major exams and whatnot. I eventually returned, finding a place in the Holiday Team in the almighty Entertainment Department. Since then I've gone on to become the Holiday TL, then turning that team in to the still relatively new Special Operations. Holidays was then down-sized to a division, and Simming returned to OTF as a division here also. There are also 3 other divisions. The Notwerk which has evolved from project to division, and the more internal geared MLO Resources and Coding Ops which are divisions for aiding the large Entertainment Department, rather than providing further entertainment to community.
I've also managed to become an AM of Entertainment, which has proven a great way of influencing development in the department. Over my years at OTF I've also been a member of Communications, handling the headlines that were on the OTF main page for a time. Currently, along with my ENT responsibilities, I'm a member of ISA, and an Agent of the OZD. Both of these roles are highly rewarding. As an ISA deputy you have a direct responsibility for the chat, and as an Agent there's a forum for expressing opinions and thoughts on the ST genre at OTF.
Anyway, that's me and my time at OTF briefly outlined.
Now for the questions:
1)Where are you from?
Diddle-dee, leprachauns and pots o' gold. Yes, I'm from Germany. =) Wait, no, I'm Irish, that'd mean Ireland, yeah? *ponders* Yeah, Ireland. That's the green place. =)
2)Best thing about your town/country/home?
I dunno... *ponders some more*
Well, there's the weather, where summer is winter, and winter is summer. Sometimes I think we are on the wrong hemisphere. But, maybe I exaggerate. Winter isn't all that bad, although I'm always hoping for snow. Right before it snows it always rains, and then the snows melts when it hits the ground. It's very sad. I cry a little, but that's just more water. =( And in Summer, the weather can be wet and cold... like winter. So, basically, I like the predictability of the unpredictable weather.
Also, we've got Taytos and Tanora! Mwuhahaha!!!
3)Favorite genre and why?
Hmmm, well, I don't have much choice other than to say THE TREK, as I will have Brady sending Man in Hat AND Iain (combined they make the Super-power-megazord) to hunt me down. It's rare to see, but I think I could just push Brady to do it if I said "Star Wars rulz! I wish I had a lightsabre. Wheeeee!" =)
4)Favorite Star Trek episode and why?
Ack, these are hard questions. Fave episode would be the one where... when... how... Nemesis. I liked Nemesis. =)
5)Blaming Hobbie: troublemaker or just always in the wrong place at the wrong time?
Oh, poor lad. He's a sweet young fellow, who wouldn't harm a fly. It's all just propaganda against him. Of course, the propaganda machine is driven by Ray, the anti-Hobbie. Ray's the one behind the schemes and plots, and Hobbie just gets caught in the crossfire.
6)Favorite OTF memory?
The drag-fest in MT last year. I believe I entered as Whitney Houston, and from then on we had every one from Mariah Carey to Britney Spears. Wow! Honestly, wow! If only Gene Hackman had arrived too. =)
Or... the Cork Union where we went on adventure through the dark, wet caves under Blarney Castle. They were small and we were using the light from our phones to see where we were going. Great, spontaneous fun!
7)Has OTF ever disrupted rl? Made you miss work or school etc?
Nope, and I'd never let it either. It's only a chatroom! I usually come to OTF as an escapism from RL, but I love my RL so I wouldn't stay away for too long. I love the fact that I get to interact with other people from around the world that I wouldn't necessarily have been able to otherwise. I also love that the membership are responsible for keeping OTF afloat, not by just supporting it, but also by taking responsiblity for it, by joining departments, and taking on roles and responsibilities for maintaining and improving things.
8)If everyone at OTF came over for dinner what would you make for them?
My "Ultimate Sandwich". I'm not gonna tell you what's in it, but every one who has ever tried one has been blown away. (Not literally, as I don't have the materials necessary to create explosives... yet!) It's like the nicest sandwich you'll ever taste. People are shocked by the combination of what I put in, but once they taste it their legs quiver and their mouths water in ecstacy. That's how good it is! Amazing, I know... and the only way you'll ever taste it is if you manage to track me down. =)
I really liked V for Vendetta. What a cool movie! I'm not gonna give any plot points away (if you haven't seen it by now I shall forever mark you with the letter 'Z', because you're not cool enough for 'V'... instead you can be a Zorro wannabe.) but it's so good I've already decided on my next Halloween costume. *lol*
10)Klingons: bullied as children on the intergalatic playground or just really really mean?
Actually, they started out as lab rats which were experimented on relentlessly. Then one night one of the lab rats decided enough was enough and he said "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"... and the rest is history. See "Kah'less".
The awesome, seven-foot-tall Dark Lord of the Sith makes his way into the blinding light of the main passageway, thank goodness for polarised lenses. This is Iain Vader, right hand of the Emperor, left foot of doom. His face is obscured by his flowing black robes *in other words, he's wearing a sheet on his head* and grotesque face mask, which stands out next to the difficult-to-clean, white armored suits of the Imperial stormtroopers. Everyone instinctively backs away from the imposing warrior's size 17 boots, as Vader has trouble seeing and weighs quite a lot, and a deathly quiet sweeps through the Rebel troops not killed in the previous installment. Several of the Rebel troops break and run in a frenzied panic, though, considering they're surrounded by Stormtroopers, this is rather a girly thing to do and they mostly just spin on the spot.
6. INT. REBEL BLOCKADE RUNNER- BASEMENT.
A woman's hand puts a sim-card into an opening in AJay's dome. AJay makes beeping sounds, and tries to ring the speaking clock.
7. INT. REBEL BLOCKADE RUNNER-LOST IN SPACE.
D-pio stands in a hallway, somewhat bewildered. AJay is nowhere in sight, having rolled down a laundry chute into the basement. The pitiful squeals of the doomed Rebel soldiers can be heard in the distance.
VARIOUS REBEL TROOPS
'ow... gerroff... that hurt... my shoe!'
AJay! AJay-Detoo, where are you? Make a noise, tap on the wall, sing 'Help' by the Beatles!
A familiar clanking sound attracts Deepio's attention and she spots little AJay at the end of the hallway in a smoke-filled alcove *he really needs to quit*. A beautiful young girl (about sixteen years old... sixteen!) stands in front of AJay. Surreal and out of place, dreamlike and half hidden in the smoke, she finishes using pliers on AJay's computer face, boots him with her foot, then watches as the little robot joins his companion.
At last! Where have you been, and what's that smell?
Stormtroopers can be heard battling in the distance.
They're heading in this direction, I told you hiding in the basement wouldn't work. All that white, they'll be wanting the washing machines! What are we going to do? We'll be sent to the spicegirl mines of Kessel or smashed into a million pieces!
AJay scoots past his bronze friend and races down the subhallway. Deepio chases after him.
Wait a minute, where are you going? That's the private spa!
AJay responds with electronic beeps.
8. INT. REBEL BLOCKADE RUNNER - CORRIDOR- STILL...
The evil *oooh, scary, not slightly naughty this boy* Iain Vader stands amid the broken and twisted bodies of his foes. He grabs a wounded Rebel Officer by the neck as an Imperial Officer rushes up to the Dark Lord.
The Death Star plans are not in the main computer.
Vader squeezes the neck of the Rebel Officer, who struggles in vain.
Where are those transmissions you intercepted? What time is it in Minsk?
Vader lifts the Rebel off his feet by his throat.
What have you done with those plans? How many Hutts does it take to change a lightbulb?
We intercepted no transmissions. Three-fifteen. Aaah....This is a consular ship. We're on a diplomatic mission... Four, one to hire a bounty hunter and three to laugh about it... Ow! You've got skin!
If this is a consular ship...where is the Ambassador? Why do I see no Ferrero Rocher?
The Rebel refuses to speak but eventually cries out as the Dark Lord begins to squeeze the officer's throat, creating a gruesome snapping and choking, until the soldier goes limp. Vader tosses the dead soldier against the wall and turns to his troops.
Commander, tear this ship apart until you've found those plans and bring me the Ambassador. I want her alive! Oh, and if you find any Ferrero Rocher, lock them in my personal quarters!
The stormtroopers scurry into the subhallways.