The Blue Report: A New Hope

Article by Bria

Hey hey!

Welcome to this month's edition of the Blue Report! Why, you might ask, am I writing this? I know I don't look like Brady or Iain – thank the Force – and the reason why I'm here and they're not is that a few people got lazy and decided we should rotate the introduction between the genres. And then delegate it to me. Bear with me as I battle my way through it...

It's been quite a good month, really; at least, as far as I'm concerned, which is all I'm really concerned about. Even in Ireland, summer has finally started – and that despite the fact that it's been dubbed "Land of Winter". What have the Romans ever done for us? At least some people got aqueducts. All we got was a name.

I digress. Amidst exam results, summer jobs, Wookiee-related adventures, days at the beach and nights at the pub, we have in fact managed to cobble together a newsletter for you. We've got the usual stuff: interviews, overviews, underviews – wait no, never mind, that was underworld and referred to Hobbie's next destination – ah, and the endlessly amusing, re-written A New Hope script. Then there's our monthly comic, but this time, with a difference! This month, it comes to you courtesy of the newest addition to the Blue Report team: Polson! Who is also, by the way, very welcome to the team, and we're all glad to have her aboard. We also have a winner for the Rank-O-Matic, as well as a brand-new victim for the same, so make sure to check that out!

So with that, all that's really left for me to say is – sit back, read, and enjoy. If you're Iain, scratch the "sit back" part, I don't want you to fall and hurt yourself. Leave that to me.

Clear skies to you all!

Bria Terrik
Senator of the underworld Corellia

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OZD Update

Article by Q (The One!)

Q here, filling in for the Superfantastic Kayana peep. SheÂ’s off enjoying the wonderful Sun at Risa, I wish her well. So filling in her spot would be, you guessed it, Q, I, the One and Only.

Do to an extremely successful Theme weekend, the OZD decide to continue on with the Project, although Minor Details still need to be worked out, or Phased out *Thinks*. More information will be presented when they arrive to our known time.

Finally, I had the opportunity to catch up with CL6 SG and grab some moment of his time, to fill the heads of our Readers. Also, a very special interview, our OZD Agent of the Month. For this I had to enter “The Matrix” and pin down De Iain in order for him to be interviewed.

Hope you lot have fun and enjoy this months interviews, discussion, parties, trivia, and much, much more. Until Next time, this is your Local Q, Signing Out.

Agent Q
One-Zero Division

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SW Senate Update

Article by Adge

A wise man once said "Andrew, just shut up". At first these words were lost on me; but then it hit me: the man was obviously using some reverse psychology and actually suggesting I should speak more often. Because of this I've decided to graffiti the Senate chamber with my words of wisdom, including, but not limited to "AJ waz ere lolol" and "AJ > Iain"

This, however, is irrelevant. But it does, in a weird, Iain kind of way, bring me onto the real story I have for you all in this month's Senatorial update, fresh from Jaden's desk. As some of you may have noticed, Senators Kami and Anth - Senators of Bespin and Tattooine respectively - have been forced to step down to due time constraints. They served the Senate well and we thank them for all the hardwork and dedication they put into their jobs.

However, life goes on and there have been three new Sentorial appointments made to cover the loss of Kame and Anth. Senators Cynara, KypD and Soka of Chandrilla, Hapes and Nal Hutta have taken the vow and been sworn in as new Senators! Keep an eye out arond the chatrooms for our three newest Senators and feel free to offer them any sort of bribes or other financial "gifts". They're all welcome ;-)

Anyway, I'll wrap this up as I can hear Hobbie and Bria talking arguing upstairs, and I fear being hit by a stray blaster bolt. Yes, they shoot through walls. No-one is safe, honestly... *rolls eyes*

AJ (CL7)
Senator of Onderon
Entertainment SM
Outpost 10F

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The Wizard Update

Article by Bryce

As most of you are aware, the WizardsÂ’ highly anticipated Final Fantasy events were finally carried out last month. IÂ’m sure I speak for a lot of people when I say that I had a blast. We had an excellent turnout; I havenÂ’t seen Minas Tirith that busy since, well. . .never. *l* Anyway, for those of you who may have missed the events, IÂ’ve decided to give a brief summary of them all in this edition.

Firstly, we had the Final Fantasy VII trivia, hosted by none other than myself, along with my assistant, Jarek. It was no ordinary trivia as the questions were made by the Wizards, rather than the trivia team. Steven Norton proved just how well he knew Final Fantasy; he won the RPÂ’s by a landslide. Hobbie on the other hand was funnier than a rainbow-colored Chocobo, which earned him the Wannabe rank. Despite the World Cup going on at the same time, we had a decent size crowd for it.

Right after the trivia, we had the Chocobo race. It was a long and vigorous race, but the racers and their Chocobo were able to finish. . .well, most of them anyway.* In the end, Jarek & Balco tied for S-class, Aeon received A-class, and KypÂ’D & Queen Demon tied for B-class.

The next afternoon, the Wizards held the Final Fantasy Battle Tournament. Black Mages, Monks, Warriors, and Thieves used all their might to try and overcome the other battlers and become the champion. It came down to Ricardo, BalcoÂ’s Monk versus Bola Ashrod, LucÂ’s Black Mage. Only one could win, though, and in the end, LucÂ’s mage came out on top.

That night, some uninvited Final Fantasy monsters decided to party. They locked Ryo in a closet, and then partied for about an hour, wrecking Minas Tirith and treating ISA officers as bar tenders. The Turks found out, however, and crashed their party. Ryo was freed and the monsters were driven out. The good news is that no one was harmed apart from a partly scorched moogle, and a frightened Butterbur. The bad news is that it took the Wizards a week to clean up the mess that the monsters left behind. The monsters partied so hard, that theyÂ’re still sleeping it off.

Well, that sums up what went down during the Final Fantasy Days. The Wizards would like to thank everyone who helped out or participated in the events. It was through you all that these events were able to be such a major success. We all had a great time, and we hope to do something like this again sometime. Remember to always keep your eyes and ears open for projects happening in the Outpost 10F fantasy sector.

*Disclaimer: No Chocobos were harmed during the WizardsÂ’ Final Fantasy Days.

Alivan (CL5)
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ST Patron of the Month

Article by Q (The One!)

Well, hereÂ’s the interview you lot were waiting for. The ST Patron of the Month for May 2006, CL6 SG!. The man who sees no fear, who came and gone, who held the world in the palm of his hands. Congrats SG!!!

1)How does it feel to be ST Patron of the month?

Same as when I'm Lord of the Dance. *does a jig* =) But, seriously, it's always nice to get an award which recognises your effort as part of the community. I love doing what I do around OTF, so an award like this is just a cherry on top.

2)Any idea of why you won it?

Probably because of the work I put in to the Lost weekend, and some other themed ideas for the future. It was a spontaneous decision to hold the weekend after some long discussions by the OZD team about themed weekends, so the work was done pretty much last minute. Also, my propaganda machine against the Senate and the Wizards is working quite effectively. =)

3)Would you like to have won it for a different reason? What reason?

Establishing a network of ninja guinea pigs within the world's governments.

4)For ST Members, who are seeking to win such an award, any tips, propaganda, or any other sort of briabary facts you can share with them? (Perhaps trade secrets?)

Iain is always right (or so he believes, and by extension the world must believe)

5)You've received a nice big, and not to mention, shiny award. Anything else you wish you had won?

A car.... but apparently the only cars you find in OTF are those without wheels and engines and are for sale by some guy called FM. =(

6)Anyone you would like to thank/curse?

The OZD... without them I'd just be some hacker defacing Ten Forward. =)

7)How long of an OTF member have you been? Anything that has been a great moment for you while being a member of such a wonderful Chat :D?

I've been a member since January 2003. Over that time there have been some great memories, and friendships. A lot of the people are considering my closest friends at OTF are those who I met at the Cork Union last year, so that was a pretty awesome moment.

8)Where do you see yourself in the next 30 seconds, 2 months, 8 years?

Next 30 seconds: Talking to FMiH about how unfortunate it is to have met SG.
Next 2 months: Enjoying the end of my summer holidays, move back to my home city, finishing up at work, and preparing to go back to college.
Next 8 years: Probably living on the moon or something. =)

Agent Q
One-Zero Division

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SW Patron of the Month

Article by Adge

Last month's SW Patron of the Month winner was Soka (CL5)! After several threatening phonecalls, Soka finally agreed to speak to me and answer a few questions!

1. Congratulations on the award: what do you think you did to earn the award?
Uhm ... I've got no clue actually, tell me please should you know!

2. What sort of work is it you do around the Outpost?
Firstly I'm a Trivia-Minion who happens to be a DL (Division Leader) for some reason. Which means I am responsible for choosing the questions being asked during Team Trivias, so be nice to me if/unless you are Hobbie and/or Iain. Secondly I'm a new ISAgent, meaning I try to help and keep lamer-disturbances at a minimum. Thirdly I'm a newly elected introduced Sanetor (that sounded too much like sane) Senator who still has to get used to rejecting all those bribe-offers.

3. How did you feel when you found out you'd won the award?
I first overread it and only noticed when I saw the Entry-line I think. Then I was confused and read through the requirements for it. And thought: Hey, that all fits me .. not! Well, I suppose someone believed otherwise, my self-judgement is known to be pretty different from others'.

4. You're pretty new to the Senate: what're your first impressions of the Senators and life as a Senator?
First impression of the Senators? Most of them I've known for too long to remember. The fact that a lot of them being active/retired/fired Trivia-Members should say quite a bit though :( First impression of life as a Senator? Getting out of my cage Trivia-cage was a nice change... wait, I had that already when joining the ISA. But the Senate-Chamber is a lot more luxurious than that so ... yes, a nice change indeed *g*

5. You're now CL5 and a Division Leader - a good platform on which you could launch a successful OTF career; do you have any long-term ambitions? Is their a rank/position you'd really like to achieve?
I would very much like to be CL3 which I am from time to time when hosting/assisting. Seriously, I've never had any ambitions other than being in Trivia and having fun which is exactly what I have right now. For this I blame Hob.. the great Team :) Having fun while if possible helping to entertain other people is my long-time ambition too, I don't mind what rank or I have for that.

6. What was your first impression of OTF when you first joined?
Like about every new member I was first pretty confused, about several things. For example I had problems keeping people apart, there were so many with 2 letters as handle, some of them still are regularly around but I learned to tell AJ and FM and CT and KC and JJ and JD and JP and several others apart by now, yes really ... right, I'm getting off-track again ... Other than being pretty confused I seem to have thought that most of the regular members were nice or I wouldn't have kept coming ... or so I think.

7. Finally, what's life REALLY like for a Trivia and Entertainment Minion?
Despite of the far-too-small cages (even the DL-ones) and the bad food (just a leftover SP-cookie from time to time) and the lot of work a lot of us are somehow addicted to Trivia (ask several people including me who tried to leave and couldn't stay away ... if there is something in those cookies? :?) and as Trivia is supposed to entertain people it happens to be a Team in the Entertainment Department.

AJ (CL7)
Senator of Onderon
Entertainment SM
Outpost 10F

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FY Patron of the Month

Article by Bryce

The last winner of the Fantasy Patron of the Month award was Ryo Crimson (CL7). Last month he was deeply involved in the Final Fantasy events, so I decided to base most of my questions around those events.

1 - How does it feel to win the FY Patron of the Month Award for the second time this year?
Not too shabby, is much appreciated, and a bit unexpected

2 - As many know, you were the main Wizard in charge of last monthÂ’s Final Fantasy events. Do you think that your large involvement in that project helped you get this award?
< Quite possibly, although almost every wizard played a big part in helping out with the actual running of the events. I'd like to thank everyone that helped out.

3 - Did the Final Fantasy events last month go as well as you hoped?
Some of the 'new' style events didn't work out quite as well as I had hoped, but MT was packed all weekend and people seemed to enjoy themselves, so I deem the events a huge success.

4 - Would you ever again like to be in charge of such a large set of fantasy events in the future?
Maybe, but not anytime soon. *l* At least not to this scale. Don't get me wrong, I'd happily help out at anything someone else planned, but I think I'll take a break from playing 'master-mind' for quite some time.

5 - While weÂ’re on the subject, whatÂ’s your favorite Final Fantasy game? Why?
Final Fantasy VII (7), hands down. It was the one I started with, and aside from capturing a lot of themes I still enjoy, it was simply a good solid game. Characters, story, a good battle system; what's not to like about it?

6 - Lastly, IÂ’ve been meaning to ask; did you ever recover from being locked in that closet during the Monster Masquerade? That duct tape looked like it hurt.
Well, physically I made it out with just a few missing hairs thanks to the duct tape. Emotionally, I'm slowly recovering, but Dr. Cid tells me I've made a lot of progress in the past week. I still can't help but flinch every time I hear the "Munsters" theme, though.

I would like to thank Ryo for taking the time to do this interview.

Alivan (CL5)
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OZD's Iain of the Month

Article by Q (The One!)

For this month, the Month of June, our Agent of the Month is, yes, I have had the Rare and great Honor to Interview, you guessed it, Iain! :) So without any delays, *thinks*, Iain mind!

So now that I have the special privlage and honor of Interviewing Iain....Here are your Questions :p

And now that I have the supreme honour, privilege, and sheer delight of being Iain... I shall answer your questions...! ;-)

1) Name, Rank, Title, and Job Description?

Name: Iain
Rank: CL8
Title: (currently) "Team Trivia Master, Wannabe & Fake SP Receiver"
Job Description: "OTF Server".

2) Who's your favorite ST Character?

Jean-Luc Picard. The man is a legend!

3) The Matrix, I mean OZD, has been under your infleunce for how long?

The question depends on your definition of "under my influence". Let's just say, since the OZD's very formation. And in fact before that. I am Iain. I influenced the true force behind the OZD (Mih: Man in Hat) from before even the OZD existed. And Jelani, his predecessor and boss, too. ;-)

4) What were, was, or any plans you had upon entering the Matrix (OZD for us Readers)?

Overthrow Brady, in a grand mutiny with me at its head. Also, convert the Star Trek genre to a Matrix genre, possibly in parallel with the former goal.

5) If, and I say if, there was a plot to overthrow DE Iain, what advice, pointers, or strategy would you give for a succes in this plan?


... oh, you're not kidding?!

I mean, get Iain on your side. The only person powerful enough to overthrow Iain is in fact Iain himself. Otherwise, you want to go home and rethink your life. Then surrender to Iain.


6) How does it feel to have all the powers in your hand?

Imagine how Neo feels at the very end of the first Matrix film, when he steps out of the phonebox and is looking round at all the people walking past on the street.

Then square the feeling.

Then square that.

That's but a small taster of how it feels to be Iain.

7) What's your Favorite ST Race and/or Planet and why is that?

Very good question! There are advantages to Q, Vulcan, Betazoid, even Android! Let's go with Q. I like the Q. Plus, it's Q interviewing me, so it's the Popular Choice. ;-)

8) Where, for those small percantage of readers who don't know, are you from?

Edinburgh, Scotland, UK, Europe.

9) Is there one person, who you enjoy picking on the most in OTF?

:D I endeavour not to "pick on" anyone.

However, should what you really mean in this question is, "Who do I make impossible things happen to, most", there is only one choice, very clearly! Namely, of course, my lovely
Naberrie! ;-) (Who may or may not now be sometimes known as "the Iain Clock" for that reason.)

10) Polgara? What comes to mind with that name?

Seven consecutive angry smileys. And Q on his knees, begging. Then more angry smileys. And then no more Q.

11) Being the Crazed Overlord, has it been to much, are you overworked? Or do you just enjoy it too much?

It's great fun! To quote some guy from some film: "I can take more." ;-)

12) As of Lately, many readers have notice this title of Nabberie Iain's? Care to gives us insight as to what's all about?

:D Well, "Naberrie's Iain" is an easy name to explain: Naberrie, my wonderful (and occasionally even mysteriously upsidedown/backwards!) girlfriend, owns me! Just as I own her. Yes, you read that right. She owns me. And yet I own her. The system works!! ;-) ... now. (We may, or may not, have confused ourselves in the past by thinking in detail about these facts.)

13) What's your Magical Number?


Before Ending the conversation our good friend Iain, made a final Request... “Tell Polgara not to look at my answer to Question 10. :K”

Agent Q
One-Zero Division

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To CL7:

  • *Cinna* (ST) - In addition to her perfectly-performed duties in the Welcoming Committee and in the ISA, and to her constant and efficient heading up of the Suggestions Box, Christena is our 2nd Assistant Manager of Communications, and Public Relations Team Leader - and has excelled in all of these positions! Her hard work has not gone unnoticed. Nor has her Bunny Army legions, being countered by the "Poke The Bunny" Game, that it would be wholly inappropriate to mention right now... and so I won't. Very well done, Christena!
  • SG (ST) - Sha "GIM! " ne!! calls Iain a "MAID". This was the main promotion reason. *notes a glare from Brady* ... and also, his work too has been outstanding! In Entertainment, as 2nd Assistant Manager, and as SpecOps Team Leader, he has led by example, and played a large hand in many of the recent successes there. This is not to mention his work in OZD, where as just one example, his co-ordination of the Lost weekend led to him receiving in dismay being awarded the title of Supreme Other. Congratulations, Shane!
  • To CL6:

  • Ms. Superfantastic Kayana (ST) - Not only does Kayana contribute outstanding work in the One Zero Division and the Welcoming Committee, but she even survived a real life meeting with Man in Hat's non-associate, Brady, recently! She contributes across the board, always going above and beyond the call of duty, and is an integral member of the site. Thank you, Kayana!
  • To CL5:

  • J.KypD Soul (SW) - Things are starting to click for the newly appointed Senator of Hapes. Her efforts in Entertainment, as DLiT of the Notwerk, and in the ISA have certainly not gone unnoticed. Keep up the good work, miss Ultimate Clicker!
  • To CL4:

  • Allan Knight Skywalker (FY)
  • Ice (ST)
  • ilovedarkness00 (SW)
  • Valiant Venture (ST)
  • To CL3:

  • dbowan (SW)
  • Hitman_Bob (SW)
  • Jaquaia (SW)
  • Sephiroth_VII (SW)
  • WILL G (SW)
  • Zyther Saebra (SW)

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    Babel vs The Sith Lords

    Article by Polson

    [Enlarge comic in a new window.]

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    The REAL story behind Star Wars... (Part IV)


    The Imperial Stardestroyer comes over the surface of the planet Tatooine, it doesn't cast a shadow, we're in space, remember?


    Jundland, or "No Man's Land", not to be confused with Disneyland, or "it's a small world", where the rugged desert mesas meet the foreboding dune sea. The two helpless astro-droids kick up clouds of sand, despite the fact it's hard to do that outside of a dune-buggy, as they leave the lifepod and clumsily work their way across the desert wasteland (can a desert be a wasteland? Is it not already a desert, therefore... deserted?). The lifepod in the distance rests half buried in the sand, and I bet that kicked up a cloud.

    How did I get into this mess? I really don't know how. Oh, wait, yes I do, it's your fault, dustbin-boy! *sigh* We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life. Though I intend to make it someone else's lot in life once the plan...

    Ajay answers with beeping sounds and a lacy parasol pops out of his dome to provide personal shade.

    I've got to rest before I fall apart. My joints are almost frozen and I have sand in the strangest places.

    Ajay continues to respond with beeping sounds and a lazy twirl of the parasol.

    What a desolate place this is, reminds me of a wet weeknight in London when England's playing a World cup match. Except for the wet part.

    Suddenly Ajay whistles 'fanfare for the common man', makes a sharp right trundle and starts off in the direction of the rocky desert (mmm, dessert) mesas. Deepio stops and yells at him.

    Where are you going? Is your GPS playing up again?

    A stream of electronic noises and 'Baby one more time' pours forth from the small robot.

    Well, I'm not going that way, and, OMG Britney Spears again? This is like that time you sang Y.M.C.A for a month! Anyway, it's much too rocky. This way is much easier.

    Ajay counters with a long whistle and the chorus of 'Crazy'.

    What makes you think there are settlements over there? Oh, and please stop, I'll be humming that for the rest of the scene!

    Ajay continues to make beeping sounds, some resembling the Euro classic band 'No limits'.

    Don't get techno with me.

    Ajay continues to make beeping sounds. Sheesh, how original.

    What mission? 'The' Mission? You want to look for Robert De Niro? What are you talking about? I've had just about enough of you and your dance classics! Go that way! You'll be malfunctioning within a day, you nearsighted iPod!

    Deepio gives the little robot a Crane kick (wax on, wax off) and starts in the direction of the vast dune sea.

    And don't let me catch you following me begging for help or the latest Quicktime update, because you won't get it, as I've switched to Quicktime lite due to qttask issues in my msconfig.

    Ajay's reply is a rather rude version of the Apple startup sound. He turns and trudges off in the direction of the towering mesas Jar Jar Binks.

    No more adventures. I'm not going that way.

    Ajay beeps 'The Hills are alive' to himself as he makes his way toward the distant mountains.


    Deepio, hot, tired and clearly lacking an efficient heat sink, struggles up over the ridge of a dune, only to find more dunes, which seem to go on for endless miles (desert, duh!). She looks back in the direction of the now distant rock mesas.

    That malfunctioning little twerp. This is all his fault! He tricked me into going this way, but he'll do no better, I switched his A to Z for Autoroute 1886.

    In a huff of anger and frustration, Deepio knocks the sand from her joints. Her plight seems hopeless, when a glint of reflected light in the distance reveals an object moving towards her.

    Wait, what's that? A transport! I'm saved! Unless of course it's a carelessly discarded milk bottle, in which case, returns cash for me!

    The bronze android waves frantically and yells at the approaching transport/milk bottle. Hey, at least she's optimistic.

    Over here! Help! Please, help! Got milk?

    17. EXT. TATOOINE - ROCK CANYON - SUNsSET (lol, I crack me up).

    The gargantuan rock formations are shrouded in a strange foreboding mist (mists are never foreboding, now fog on the other hand...) and the ominous sounds of unearthly creatures fill the air (w00t). Ajay moves cautiously through the creepy rock canyon, inadvertently making a loud clicking noise as he goes (WD40 will cure that). He hears a distant, hard, metallic sound and stops for a moment. Convinced he is alone, he continues on his way. In the distance, a pebble phone tumbles down the steep canyon wall and a small dark figure darts into the shadows. A little further up the canyon a slight flicker of light reveals a pair of eyes in the dark recesses only a few feet from the narrow path. The unsuspecting robot waddles, duck-like along the rugged trail until suddenly, out of nowhere, a powerful magnetic ray shoots out of the rocks and engulfs him in an eerie glow (magnets and computers, bad idea, blue-screen of death imminent). He manages one short electronic squeak before he topples over onto his back. His bright computer lights flicker off, then on, then off again, whilst the disco version of the Star Wars theme plays. Out of the rocks scurry three Jawas, no taller than Ajay, but with hair in all the wrong places. They holster strange and complex weapons as they cautiously approach the robot. They wear grubby cloaks (clearly they have yet to salvage a washer/dryer) and their faces are shrouded so only their glowing eyes can be seen. They hiss and make odd guttural sounds as they heave the heavy robot onto their shoulders and carry him off down the trail. (Dink-dink, dink dink dink dink, dink dink...)


    The eight Jawas carry Ajay out of the canyon to a huge tank-like vehicle the size of a four-storey house (is that the size of a four-storey Jawa house, because that's tiny). They weld a small disk on the side of Ajay which reads, 'Triple jump silver medalist', and then put him under a large tube on the side of the vehicle and the little robot is sucked into the giant machine. The filthy little Jawas scurry like rats up small ladders (like rats up small ladders, or like rats *pause* up small ladders?) and enter the main cabin of the behemoth transport.


    It is dim inside the hold area of the Sandcrawler because, like the washer/dryer, the Jawas have neglected to salvage a torch. Ajay switches on a small floodlight on his forehead (can a dome have a forehead? Maybe it should read, foredome?) and stumbles around the scrap heap. The narrow beam swings across rusty metal rocket parts, a bike, a childrens' slide and an array of grotesquely twisted and maimed astro-robots. He lets out a pathetic electronic whimper, pulls out a metal cup and starts rattling it on nearby bars as he stumbles off toward what appears to be a door at the end of the chamber.


    Ajay enters a wide room with a four-foot (in width?) ceiling. In the middle of the scrap heap (I thought this was the prison...) sit a dozen or so robots of various shapes and sizes. Some are engaged in electronic conversation, while others simply mill about. A voice of recognition calls out from the gloom.

    Ajay-Detoo! It's you! It's you! How come they dump you in the room with a high ceiling and me in here... Jawas must have fisheye lenses in those light-up eyes.

    A battered Deepio scrambles up to Ajay and embraces him.


    The enormous Sandcrawler lumbers off toward the magnificent twin suns, which are (very) slowly setting over a distant mountain ridge.


    Four Imperial stormtroopers prance about in front of the half-buried lifepod that brought Ajay and Deepio to Tatooine. A trooper yells to an officer some distance away.

    Someone was in the pod. The tracks go off in this direction. Can I have a promotion now?

    A second trooper picks a small bit of metal out of the sand and gives it to the first trooper.

    Look, sir - droids. S'bit of a funny looking droid though, looks like a ringpull from a drinks can...

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    The Rank O'Matic

    Article by Iain

    June's winner of the Rank O'Matic Challenge was CL5 Ayanna with her entry of Chuck Norris's Rubber Band Sidekick for Amanda's rank! Congratulations, Ayanna, and thanks for being our "victim", Amanda!

    Moving on, for this month's Rank O'Matic challenge, we have my Loyal Apprentice, Luke M. (CL4) as the contestant!

    For those of you who arrived late (tsk, tsk), the goal of the Rank O'Matic is to come up with a suitable rank for the contestant above. It can be any title you deem suitable. The rank that is the funniest and most creative, as deemed by the Blue Report team, will be implemented for a little while with an award going to the winner. So:

    Submit a Suitable Special Rank for Luke!

    Good luck!

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    Article by Man in Hat

    Dear Concerned Residents of Outpost 10F,

    In response to my previous article in this little newsletter, I recieved mountains and mountains of support for our upcoming invasion of Deck 4. I have even recruited a second-in-command who is almost as outraged as me, and who is willing to drive the Rancor we acquired from the Cantina. She has however requested her name be kept out of the media. I can tell you though that I have seen evidence of her driving skills on the updates board. We have also recieved an invitation to a cocktails party in Brady's quarters on Deck 4. He's such a lovely chap. What's more, we can use this invitation to Deck 4 to plan our invasion.

    Again if you wish to join our cause email not MAINinhat, which caused some confusion last time. We'll be using the publicly available Schematics to plan our attack. Familiarise yourself with these plans! I think we'll plan the invasion to coincide at somepoint around the time of the anniversary, when all the 'special' people are having champagne around the piano in their piano bar!

    One final matter that I wanted to bring to your attention is this: I am being harassed by Iain. He persistently emails me day in and day out and referring to me as Mih as if I was a piece of meat for his amusement. This will not be tolerated. We know where you live, EE-YAN. Deck 4, room 17. The smallest room on the deck and a little to close to Brady's quarters. We're watching you.

    Love and puppies,

    Man in Hat
    Vic's Senior Assistant
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