Disturbing Issue

Article by Man in Hat

Dear Outpost Patrons,

It has been brought to my attention that a serious problem has arisen recently. This problem is eating at the very core of what it means to be a member of this fine community. It is dividing our community and threatens to rip our arms from our fragile bodies! No, I'm not talking about Grant. What I'm talking about is the secret parties that have been taking place on the exclusive section of the station, known as Deck 4.

Now, some of you have probably never even been to Deck 4. I myself only know of it because I managed to hijack an R2 unit and have it transported to Deck 4 to do some 'repairs'. Alas, Security quickly noticed my ploy and vaporised the R2 unit I was temporarily inhabiting. Perhaps the discreet black hat was a giveaway. Fortunately I managed to transfer my noncoporeal digitised self back to the computer before I myself was also vaporised!

Anyway, the purpose of this article is a call to action. I'm sick of being excluded from these Deck 4 parties, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. The inhabitants and VIP guests of Deck 4 residents beware! Your precious Piano Bar will soon be ours. Everyone should be able to enjoy the facilities of Deck 4, not just the likes of Dmitri, Hongjun, CT and JJ, Jaden and Glenn, Brady, Iain, Sonata, etc. etc.!

If you're with me, email maninhat@outpost10f.com. I'd especially like to hear from anyone that knows how to handle a phaser, blaster, lightstick, sword, wand, cocktail shaker, etc. I have managed to acquire access to the Cantina's Rancor (something about Hobbie being bitter about not living on Deck 4), but I'll need a driver. The invasion will commence after a few drinks and maybe some nibblies. I was thinking we could meet on Deck 5 and drill a hole through the roof. Or explosives maybe. Who's with me?

Love and puppies,

Man in Hat
Senior Assistant to Vic Fontaine
Axis