Outpost 10F: Blaming Hobbie

Article by Polson

It's been a while since our last release, more due to my laziness than anything. What with Christmas and New Years being the busiest times of year we decided to hold off a bit, and also waiting for promotions, you know, the usual suspects. We have however, decided to release an issue every two months as opposed to every month. I blame Hobbie.

Other changes are in the air as well. We've dispensed with the patron of the month interviews in favor of something different, which I also blame on Hobbie. Stay tuned for that because we put Bria in charge of it. I think. We'll still be doing promotions and possibly expanding that section. In the future, we hope to add some more up close and personal looks at specific projects to keep you informed on the happenings at OTF.

Last, most of you know about the impending changes to the outpost, specifically the disbanding of departments and organization of smaller more independant teams instead. I personally am excited about these changes, and I'm sure this next few months will be a crazy time as we pull together and figure ourselves out. This does mean however that this issue marks the goodbye of the OZD, the Senate and the Wizards. It will be the last time you receive updates from those departmental groups, rather farewells and a look back on what's been accomplished.

.Sorry i just looked back on this all and discovered I wasn't very funny. I blame Hobbie.

Toodles.

Polson
_{Department of Something or Other}

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OZD RIP

Article by Polson

Well seeing how departments are changing to be teams instead and the affiliation thing is going to be different as well, the OZD was disbanned officially this month. Because of this, not a whole lot has been going on. So I'd like to highlight some folks that I know put a lot into the Star Trek side of things over the past couple of years. I wasn't always on the up and up, so if I miss you and you think you deserved a Polson Kudos, I apologize, and I blame Hobbie. Forward your complaints to his mail box.

Brady, Brady, Brady, Brady. I am in love with Brady. Seemed for a while there all things OZD had Brady's name on it. But I think what I have always valued most about Brady is the way he values everyone who works under him. Even long before I joined the OZD, Brady would listen to my long winded wacky ideas and opinions on how things should work and he never put words in my mouth or made me feel like I was a bad person for disagreeing with the status quo. But he also wasn't afraid to tell me no. I like that in a man. So, Brady, Kudos!

Second, I'd like to pass a kudo onto the double team of Jeremy and Aeon, the King and Queen of avatars. Ever since Jeremy was involved in the creation of Alder Hill, he's really been the go-to man when it comes to collecting avatars, and I don't think there's anyone who hasn't seen Aeon's name on all projects "theme". I cannot imagine the amount of work that has gone into some of those projects. Not to mention, whenever someone on the mailing list asked for a hand, these two were usually the first ones to say "how can I help?"

Kayana, because she's been the OZD tyrant for most of my time as OZD. This faboo lady actually gave me duties and then wasn't surprised when I did an okay job!!! Her help with the Blue Report has been awesome. She had big shoes to fill and she filled 'em, all the while wearing two pairs of socks.

It is no secret that I have a great affection for Bria. Yet she's not OZD so I can't praise her name here. Instead I will give the last Kudos to Iain. I know, it was inevidable, but what can you say? I say jump, the guy says, "Why jump when I can dispell gravity and you can float everywhere you go?" I don't need to express more of his awesomeness, because doing so would make his ego so big there wouldn't be room for the rest of us in this universe. It's getting crowded enough as it is.

So yup. I'm happy to have had a part in the OZD. And I'm excited about the new opportuneties open to us with the coming change.

Toodles.

Polson
_{Department of Something or Other No More}

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So long, Princess!

Article by Bria

Yo ho!

What with the recently announced changes and dissolutions and various other new-fangled bits and pieces, it looks like we'll be saying goodbye to the Senate soon. Well, by that I mean you'll be saying goodbye to us, at least if you're nice, since it'd be kind of silly, albeit fitting, if we said goodbye to ourselves.

Not to worry, though, I'm fairly certain that there will be many new and wonderful things to take our place! We had a good time of it while it lasted, we created a fair few things including some new affiliations, several events and games, and not to mention our beautiful website. I, for one, enjoyed my time immensely, at least when I wasn't being ordered around by Jaden or Hobbie or most recently Amanda. That woman is dangerous, I tell you!

So that's that. We haven't really done much lately, I'm afraid. That is, we did a fair bit, since we did want to change a few things and make it all more relaxed, interactive, and well, fun. We had all these ideas featuring new ranks, entry lines, and lots of randomness. Then Iain and HAL announced the changes and our changes became somewhat redundant, hence you probably never knew about them. And that sounds like a political lie if ever there was one, Hobbie will be proud of me.

And with that, the last ever Senate article draws to a close. Thanks for reading all this time, if indeed you did, and may the Force be with us all with things to come.

Clear skies!

Bria Terrik
_{Senator of Corellia, for a little while longer.}

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The Journey back to the Shire

Article by Aleka

I type in my command code and I hit enter, this could be the very last time that I hit this button. Soon, Minas Tirth will be merged with Ten Forward, The Cloud City Cantina, the D'Deridex and the Rotarran. The Outpost as we know it will exist no more. Over the years many changes have come to the outpost but only one so severe as this one. Many years ago, when the Outpost was on the extremely old intergate server and the choice was made to move and expand, people wondered if “Ten Forward” would ever be the same. Many years have passed since then and yet not only has the outpost survived, it’s thrived.

Fearing the unknown has been a part of humanity, but curiosity sparked us to reach out and try knew things. We learned how to make fire, how to survive and how the thrive. This time is no different. We must be brave, we must venture into uncharted territory because if things always remain the same, there is no room for growth.

This may very well be the last Wizards update but the presence of Minas Tirth will always felt because we are more than people who belong to a specific sector, we are your friends. We will be wherever you are, whatever the outpost may be, we will be there because we are a part of this wonderful community.

CL5 Aleka
Wizards
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Promotions

To CL6:

drop73 (SW) - Drop has consistently gotten a lot of stuff done for Engineering lately, including for the Voting Booth and Media Downloads, and we hope he's not going to drop it all... Sorry, couldn't help it. =(

Polson (ST) -

Because we wanted to give more reasons to inflict Polson on all of you. Bwahahahaha! Seriously though, Polson's been doing a great job spearheading the Blue Report over the past 4 months, has regularly contributed to both the Blue Report and the ISA on a regular basis as well as is a regular presence in both the chats and forums for which we all appreciate. Or at least I do whenever I see another Dmitri joke. Aha ha! Well done Pols!

To CL5:

Lzrman (ST) -

With strong recs from both his dept (ex-dept?) head as well as TL, Lzr's been doing a great job in Holidays updating the site and adding to it which has come much appreciated. Well done Bug!

Tiamai (ST) -

Tia's put a strong performance in the WG over the past year or so contributing towards its contests and always, in her TL's words, "being someone I can bounce an idea off and know will contribute to the mailing list". Beyond that, Tia's a constant contributor to both the chats and forums. Well done Tia!

To CL4:

Dark Lord Nemesis (SW)

Morph (ST)

To CL3:

bronwein (ST)

Donatien Alphonse de Sade (ST)

Lobite (ST)

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Rank-o-Matic

Article by Aeon

I've had this wonderful idea in my head about a rank-o-matic article written solely in this 1950's Southern-ish style, but I wasn't born in the 1950s (no, really not! :@) and I'm far from being South (even though I was born on the Southern Hemisphere which makes me more South than anyone of you Northern Hemispherian peoples, but that's another story which will be told another time) so instead I've decided to write nothing at all. It would be awesome, because I would have sounded like Vic, but nay... I better shut up.

Yes, it's true. And to explain it: I was too busy with making graphics for this edition. Silly me had this awesome silly idea of choosing three winners because it was special and everything, but geez... had I been told that it was such a workload... but let's not babble. Instead, here are the winners! And no, the amount of awards isn't wrong ("THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!") - we've had only four entries last month, so I decided (as clever as I am) to make awards for all of them. After all, I giggled lots, so they deserve it. But, the Blue Reporters have decided, and it's true - there can be only one, so our ultimate winner of the winners of this month's rank-o-matic and responsible for Vic's lovely new rank is none other than CL7 Zildjian!

And now the pics (yes, I'm spamming):











With all this image making, I was way too busy to chat properly so I had to look in my private fundus for a nifty chatsave, and look what I've found:



This makes CL8 ohm our next victim contestant and forces him to keep this rank for the entire month instead of changing it every second with his nifty access rights - how clever from me! *giggles*
_{I'm so dead. =(}

Anyway, please submit your rank here, don't break the PDs, be funny, etc. etc. You know the deal!

Peppermint Pattypants
_{Rank-o-Matic Empress}
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OTF Blues: A Lesson in OTF History

Article by Polson

Wolf Brother wanders by the Old Folks home to visit Maxwell in his first year of retirement...

[Enlarge comic in a new window.]

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Story time!

Article by Bria

It's me again. This time with something completely different, which we want to give a try. You see – I am going to write a story, which will be serialised in BR issues to come. Kind of like QD's Star Wars script, but also quite different in that it is not a script, nor does it have a proper plot. Yet. This is where you come in.

This story will be about OTF, featuring OTFers, that's you guys. The idea is that there will be a central plot, but it will be wide enough so that everyone who wants a part can have a part. All you need to do is let me know if you want to be involved. If you like, you can specify your own name/occupation/description, or maybe you have a quote you'd like in there, or something you want to "do". If you just want to be featured or mentioned, no worries, I'll use my imagination. There'll be a forum thread for the purpose of letting me know all of the above, discussing ideas for the plot, and generally providing your input. Alternatively, you can simply email me or get me on MSN if you see me about.

You can get involved even if you don't want to be directly featured in anything, by the way. Maybe there's just something you'd like to see happen, there's a joke you've thought of, you want to see someone else like a celebrity or a character from a show/book/comic, or maybe you'd like to write a paragraph. Let me know; this is all fairly open as of yet!

Obviously there's a clause – there's always a clause. In this case, it's that there will be no dying/killing of OTFers, no mutilation, and no other nastiness unless it's friendly nastiness. I think that was obvious, but I still have to say it, 'kay? ;)

I hope that it all makes sense, and I hope even more that you'll get involved. I can't really do this on my own, so head over to the forum and talk to me! It's also the place to ask questions, if you have any

Clear skies!

Bria Terrik

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The REAL story behind Star Wars... part XVII

66. INT. MOS EISLEY BROS - CANTINA/NIGHT CLUB/CREAM TEA ROOM.
As Hobbie is about to leave, Goose-o, a slimy (slimy? my alien this is!) green-faced alien with a short trunk-nose - containing all his personal belongings and a small kitten - pokes a gun in his side. The creature speaks in a foreign tongue, translated into English subtitles in a bubble over his head. Handy.

GOOSE-O
Going somewhere, Solo?

HOBBIE
Yes, Goose-o. As a matter of fact, heading toward the exit of a building usually means you're going somewhere. If I was going over there, I would be going to the little smugglers' room, but as it happens I was just going to see your boss. Tell JJ that I've got the money.

Hobbie sits down without looking, planting his rear on a plate containing left-over donuts. The alien (clearly not worthy of being addressed by his name) sits across from him holding the gun on him (though aiming it might be more threatening that pressing it against Hobbie's left ear).

GOOSE-O - WORDS TRANSLATED IN THE EVER-PRESENT SPEECH BUBBLE
It's too late, see, the Jawa's big hand on my watch is past second sun midday. You should have paid when you had the chance. JJ's put a price on your head so large that every bounty hunter in the galaxy will be looking for you. Heck, you can see the price from space, it's that large. I found you first thanks to my amazing, recently-purchased lucky mynock's lip. Why, with this I'll be the luckiest hunter in the galaxy, the vendor promised.

HOBBIE
Yeah, um, sure... *reaches out to prod the translation bubble* Is this thing working right? Anyway, this time I got the money.

GOOSE-O
If you give it to me, I might forget I found you *mutters* because this charm was rather expensive, I had to break into my Bantha bank.

HOBBIE
I don't have it with me, these trousers aren't big enough. Tell JJ...

GOOSE-O
JJ's through with you. JJ has no time for smugglers who drop their shipments at the first sign of an Imperial Tortilla chip ship.

HOBBIE
Even I get boarded sometimes. Do you think I had a choice? I lost my best plates that day, too!

Hobbie Solo slowly reaches for his gun under the table, he really should learn to keep it in the holster, it makes it easier to find in a hurry.

GOOSE-O
You can tell that to JJ. She may only take your ship, but, you know how she likes to collect things... hats for instance.

HOBBIE
Over my dead body.

GOOSE-O That's the idea. I've been looking forward to killing you for a long time, not as much as the end of the writer's strike, but it'll do.

HOBBIE
Yes, I'll bet you have.

Suddenly the slimy alien disappears in a blinding flash of light (ta-da! Now that's magic David Copperfield would envy). Hobbie pulls his smoking gun from beneath the table as the other patrons look on in bemused amazement, followed by an appreciative round of applause. Hobbie gets up and starts out of the cantina, flipping Hagrid some coins as he leaves. There's a jam donut stuck to his behind.

HOBBIE
Sorry about the mess.

The donut falls off.

67. EXT. SPACE.

Several Bow-TIE fighters approach the Vespa of destruction. 'Citin' innit?

68. INT. VESPA OF DESRUCTION - CONTROL ROOM.

IAIN VADER
Her resistance to the mind probe is considerable, and annoying. She keeps thinking about chicken salad. It will be some time before we can extract any information from her... maybe twenty minutes?

An Imperial Officer interrupts the meeting with a tray of tea and a half opened pack of Tesco value Garibaldi biscuits.

IMPERIAL OFFICER TEABOY
The final check-out is complete, that'll be £4.40, milk is extra. Oh, and that guy driving says all systems are operational. What course shall we set?

MOFF TEXAN- IGNORING TEABOY BUT TAKING A BISCUIT TO DUNK IN HIS DRINK
Perhaps she would respond to an alternative form of persuasion *cackle*.

VADER
What do you mean? *Takes two sugars and pays for the milk*

TEXAN
I think it is time we demonstrate the full power of this station.
(to teaboy)
Set your course for Princess Bria's home planet of Alderaanduran. Don't you have any fondant fancies? I like the pink ones.

TEABOY
With pleasure, and no, only Eclairs.

69. EXT. TATOOINE - MOS EISLEY BROS - STREET - STILL.

Four heavily-armed (as opposed to heavy, four-armed) stormtroopers move menacingly along a narrow slum (slummy? My home this is!) alleyway crowded with darkly clad creatures (so no stereotypes there) hawking exotic goods in the dingy little stalls (it's called lighting, people, and buy some cleaning products!). Men, monsters and robots crouch in the waste-filled doorways, whispering and hiding from the hot winds (They should stop wearing those dark colours then. White in summer. Sheese, you'd think they'd figure it out).

DEEPIO
Lock the door, Ajay, there's a hot draught.

One of the troopers checks a tightly locked door by prodding it with a stick and moves on down the alleyway. The door slides open a crack and Deepio peeks out. Ajay is barely visible in the background, writing his name on the wall with red biro.

TROOPER
All right, dudes, check that side of the street. Woah, it's secure alright. Move on to the next door like, now, fer-sure.

The door opens, Deepio moves into the doorway.

DEEPIO
I would much rather have gone with Master Osiris than stay here with you. I don't know what all the trouble is about, but I'm sure it must be your fault, you... you tin jinx you.

Ajay makes beeping sounds and scribbles on Deepio's foot with the biro.

DEEPIO
You watch your language! And get me some stain-away!
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