It's Not Dead, Jim!

Article by Polson

So, upon waking on May the 7th, I quickly scrambled to check over my cell phone if the movie really was premiering that night in my city. Happily I noted it was! And there was a chance I'd have free tickets! Except it was 7am, and my work partner Bryce who supposedly was able to get tickets, would not be up for several hours. Not willing to risk it, I sent a text message telling him I'd wait until ten before buying tickets online.

When I didn't hear from Bryce by nine o'clock I began planning my escape from home to find internet (as I've been moving). Except I was still unpacking, and my sister needed me, and then my mother called and asked me to come down to her work before 11:00 so I could pick out my stools for my new house. Stressed, I managed to finish up with Ami then drove to my parent's house to use the internet. I arrived shortly after ten and called Bryce, waking him up. He had forgotten about the movie and did not get tickets. And he wanted to stay home and watch the Canucks. He said he'd go the following day, but one day later was one day too late! Then I spent the next half hour attempting to buy tickets online, but discovered that my dad's printer didn't work. I didn't have time to drive to the other side of town to my former residence where my computer was (and still is) set up and then make it to mom's work. Stress!

While driving to AMA on the way to my mom's work, I managed to talk mom into coming to the movie with me. I then ran into AMA to buy movie tickets, only to discover I could only get passes there, not specific show tickets. I purchased those and prayed my hometown's nerd population was not greater than the theater's capacity so that it wouldn't be sold out by the time the theater actually opened.

After completing many other tasks, I went to the theater. At five thirty. I was first in line! No one was there. In fact, no one showed up until six. Because the theater didn't open until six. Then it opened and we all poured in and I went to the wrong counter before finally getting into the back of the line of the right counter. Thankfully the movie was not sold out so I got our tickets with no problems.

Mom arrived at 6:30 and we went into the theater. The movie didn't start until 7:00 so there were several pee breaks taken between the two of us. And I was disappointed; there were no Klingons. In the past at Star Trek openings there are people dressed up as Klingons. In fact, I PROMISED mom Klingons. We were both sadly disappointed.

Eventually the movie actually started. The first few seconds were dead quiet, except for one guy in the back who yelled "whoo hoo!" I was in tears almost immediately. The old heart strings were a twanging. And then came the moment...the moment when the title "Star Trek" appeared on the screen. The entire theater erupted in applause!

Now I won't be sharing movie details here, as several people won't have seen it yet, but I gotta say, it rocked my socks off. And it was simply fantastic to be watching it with people who knew TOS - you could tell, because everytime there was a throwback the entire auditorium burst out laughing. "Green blooded hobgoblin" simply isn't funny all by itself. But when you've grown up hearing McCoy gripe about Spock's penchant for irritating calm, "Are you out of your Vulcan Mind???" takes on new meaning! Every Trek joke was appreciated audibly by the audience! And then when the film finally came to an end, the crowd stood and clapped! Fantastic! Gotta say, I love premier showings. I went four days later again and the response was completely different. The entire theater was quiet, laughing only at the obvious jokes but not the throw backs, no applause, no whooping. If you missed the premier in your city, shame on you! Go build yourself a time machine, go back in time and take the evening off to see Star Trek XI!

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Team LEader/Admiral Update

Article by Polson

Well! It's been some time since we had a proper one of these. I'm not sure I'm the right person to give a proper one, as I've been moving and haven't checked the 143 emails in my inbox, but I'll do my best.

As for the teams, we've had the axe fall on a few that have been lingering between purgatory and death. On the flip side, we've had new life breathed into the Library team as well as a new team set up to give the site a kick in the pants marketing wise! So far it's been good to see the enthusasim pick up around the site. Kudos especially to Dmitri and Keith for their get up and go attitudes! Well done fellas!

Some teams, such as Trivia, Library and even the Blue Report have taken on new members! For us, we've brought on Jeremy to give us some nitty gritty genre specific articles! I'm looking forward to having his wit and writing skill on the team!

As for the Admirals, well, Iain is still getting married (yay!) and I hope he's actually booked his flights finally! Hobbie has taken over the chat top project (yay!) and is still being blamed for everything. Hal has been doing some personnel inventory in order to restructure the rosters, while I've been doing a Team Census to give him a hand! I've also been moving for the past two weeks, and haven't had continual internet access for that entire time. I hope to be up and running soon though. I apologize to the 143 neglected emails in my inbox. And I blame Hobbie.

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A History of Star Trek

Article by The Doctor

I said to Polson 'I'll write a history of Trek!' To my horror, she agreed. This meant that I would have to sit down, think of coherent, interesting things to say. Do some research. Discover facts – dates, people, places – I couldn't just make stuff up as you lot would rumble me. And a lot of Trek's history is well known to you already so how could I make this stuff appealing? Something that you'd want to read, rather than yet another dry re-run? So here's what we'll do. I'm going to blast through the history in one sentence and then get onto what I decided to write about instead. Ok? Allow me to draw a deep breath:

Star Trek was created by Gene Roddenberry who was nicknamed the Great Bird of The Galaxy though he wasn't a real bird and it was about Captain Kirk and his intrepid crew traipsing round space in the Enterprise and over the years various other series and movies depicted the ongoing adventures of Kirk and co and other ships and their crews and then it got boring and everyone stopped watching it the end.

Well, it was a little more complicated than that. A LOT more complicated and therein lies the problem. Years and years of accumulated history weighing down on writers and fans alike. The dreaded word 'canon' , a time line convoluted and twisted to breaking point. Many fans and mainstream viewers voted with their 'off' buttons at a Trek grown stale and old. The final series, 'Enterprise' , was cancelled and Trek was in a state of cryogenic sleep. What was to be done?

Answer: bring in one of the most innovative and exciting talents working in movies and TV today to freshen up, reinvigorate trek. JJ Abrams, famous for Alias, Lost, Cloverfield, Mission Impossible: III amongst others, got the job. Fans seemed pleased by this; here was a top-notch talent, here was a real chance for Trek to be reborn. Would we see a new ship and crew? Well . . . no. We were going back to Kirk, Spock, Bones and the rest.

Naturally, fans were filled with trepidation. Not least of all me. When I was little TOS was the only Trek. The first run of trek ended in the UK in December 1971, I was four years old and have vague memories of being glued to it with my mam and dad. I loved all the space stuff, I watched the moon missions without knowing what I was watching, yet I was fascinated by it. It was the same with Trek. I suppose that I equated Trek and those moon missions – they were both on our black and white TV, they were both about space, weren't they?

I remember the cartoon series arriving in 1973 very well. We talked about it at school, ate the chocolate bars (white chocolate with coloured crispy bits in them) and fought about who was going to be Captain Kirk when we played Star Trek. The cartoon didn't last long and I pestered my mam all the time, asking her when it would ever come back. Of course, it did, with the reinvention that was The Motion Picture, in 1979. Seeing Trek on the big screen with state of the art special effects was amazing. Brand new Trek – we'd have preferred a series, I dare say, but we got the movies and they were responsible for reigniting the public interest in Trek.

Would we have had The Next Generation and the rest without the movie series? Doubtful. The cartoon even played its part in keeping some public interest in Trek going. The Motion Picture has its critics but it brought Trek to a new audience, brought it up to date and put new life into Trek – a job that would be fully completed with Wrath of Khaaaaaaannnnn! (Sorry, old habit.) Khan came out in 82, Search for Spock in 84 and Voyage Home in 86. By this time, of course, The Next Generation was being readied for its own debut in 1987. And so it carried on through Deep Space 9, Voyager, the TNG movies and finally Enterprise.

The problem was that Star Trek became, in my opinion, processional, formulaic, dull. There were some fine stories, absolutely, some good writing and acting. But there was too much that was mediocre and average. The same mcguffins being used over and over to resolve a situation. Trek's reputation for technobabble was founded in this period and was well deserved. There are many fans who love the later series – unfortunately, the mainstream viewers did not share their enthusiasm. Trek was dying.

We're back to Abrams. Abrams had to address all of this. Had to take a scythe to all that was choking Star Trek, had to look for ways to reinvigorate, reinvent even. I'm not going to tell you how he did this - go and see the movie! - but what I will tell you is that he has succeeded. Brilliantly. He has managed to bring Trek bang up to date while staying true to the important things. Star Trek taught us to seek out and explore. Not just about other beings and places – but about ourselves.

Trek is back, the movie is a hit and people are talking about it everywhere It's relevant. It's new, yet it's familiar. It's cool to be a Trek fan again! I sincerely hope that the history of Trek remains incomplete for some considerable time to come. After all – 'the Human adventure is just beginning'!

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Simply Star Trek

Article by Richard Smith

With the release of the new Star Trek Movie there has been much talk about being true to the spirit Roddenberry envisioned. I decided for this month’s Blue Report to come to you; the member of OTF and post a few questions to you. I asked some of our community’s illustrious members if Star Trek XI or just simply Star Trek will help or harm the franchise and then followed up with asking if this reinvention has a hope of succeeding. Enjoy.

Where do you think the Star Trek franchise is headed? Will Star Trek XI Help or hurt?

Lzrman: Personally, I think once they are done with any upcoming movies, it will go down the tube. You can only drag a series on for so long until it is time for it to retire.

JTK: I think it will definatly help. It will be a nice revival. If this movie is as good as it looks I would hope a series would come from it, I'd watch it.

Lee: "I think there is a great deal of life left in the Star Trek franchise. Over the past few months we have had a surge in registrations which just proves that people are still interested in watching it and talking about it."
"The movie is just the start. It is getting Star Trek back on our screens, re-introducing the old fans and introducing a whole load of new ones."
We might ultimately see a new series in the works; or possibly further movies. I don't know. But I do know that Star Trek has proved to be a highly versatile franchise capable of constantly adapting to meet the demands of the fans. And they got it wrong with Enteprise. Let us all hope that this movie won't prove to be a failure. If it proves successful there is every chance that there is every chance that there will be much more to come.

Brandon: I think that the Star Trek franchise is headed down a new frontier, I believe that Star Trek XI will redefine the franchise in a way that will bring new members in and reengage those who've been livelong followers (trekkers and trekkies alike) There are obviously some new actors who have the task of bringing to live some of the franchise's most influential and well known characters and if they can do that effectively, then we may just bring tons of new fans into the loop. I think that there is a certain caution that needs to also be expressed when looking at the bold new moves the directors are taking. there needs to be a core set of values that are adhered to and then, when possible, expansions on the interesting aspects of trek while keeping the same, familiar sense of exploration and enjoyment known by us all.

Do you give the Star Trek Franchise any hope for reinvention?

Lzrman: I am sure everyone has some ideas on how to keep it afloat, that be the creators to even the general public. I guess only time will tell, I would like to see it continue, having trek gone would be a void in every trekkies life. And in some cases some people will just move on to more exciting things.

Lee: I think it would be a brilliant idea. I always thought Star Trek was about exploring the previously unexplored and that is somewhere we haven't yet been. We shouldn't be afraid to come up with something new; we need to stop going backwards and being fascinated with Kirk and Spock. As fantastic as they were, it is time for the franchise to move ahead. And I think the fans want something new to capture their imagination.

Brandon: Yes, I believe I am. While I enjoyed the old series, I have to say that the reinvention of the franchise, and thus bringing a youthful look to the characters and likewise bringing up the excitement to the series. I've not seen a series redefined in this way short of maybe Battlestar Gallactica and that really revolutionized the series and, hopefully, this happens with Trek as well.

And now for something that isn’t normally part of the articles, the writers point of view. My feeling on the subject is this: Star Trek is Star Trek any way you slice it. Yeah I enjoy the adventures and story lines that have been brought out, but I can also embrace a new point of view. As was said in another favorite movie of mine: “Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’”. If Star Trek doesn’t continue to bring out new stuff then it dies. I am looking forward to this new movie with baited breath. I want to see where it takes Kirk, Spock, and Bones. We have already seen them around the campfire, now lets see them boldly go…again. - BR

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Aunty Shadowfox

Article by Mr Numbahs

Dear Shadowfox, This girl gave me my phone number. But it bounced back, what do I do? Dear Reader, What you REALLY should do is see if you can find that girl again and give her the number to the break-up line. If you can't find her,my sister is free.
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Star Trek- The Motion Picture on Twitter

Article by Queen of the Universe

Klingon Captain is cruisin' the space of space my dudes. My ship is fierce! You know you all want one.
Klingon Captain WTFOMGBBQ we can see this thingy, like a big cloudy thing. We are so checking it out.
Klingon Captain says tweet if you think we should shoot it!
Klingon Captain Aw maaan, what the hell my torps. Argh! This does not look

Starfleet RSS feed HQ.

irfleettechguy is at work and I think some Klingons just bought it! Meh.
irfleettechguy there's this weird cloud thing heading for Earth. Should I call my mom?

Meanwhile, on the planet Vulcan.

Spock says these robes are way heavy and who thought white was a good look for a rusty planet?
Spock had his brain probed by some know it all and was moaned at because is half-human. I think I'll run away to space again.

Earth, and bits around it.

Kirk, James T. Is trapped in a tiny dumb pod with Scotty, he ate garlic last night.
Scotty I blithering did not eat garlic last night!
Kirk, James T. Hah, I managed to get my old ride back today. I'm going to head out and look for chicks.
Chekov I wanna go with Kirk!
Uhura Road trip!
Sulu Wants to be Captain for a bit? I'll bring pizza!
Decker I'm Captain, I'm not at all going to get transposed into Commander Riker.
Kirk, James T. says shut up, I'm in charge, sucks to be the lot of you.
Kirk, James T. Off we go, wehay!
Scotty thinks he's melted a couple of people in the transporter. Whoops
Rand Barf!
Uhura Tells Captain Kirk about a big cloud and some stuff.
Ilia thinks Betazoids are stupid, and not at all based on Deltans.
Kirk, james T. There's a hot bald chick!
Decker Oh nuts, ex-girlfriend alert. Someone suggest a hiding place!
Ilia I am celibate! Who else?
McCoy What's the Klingon word for 'transporter phobia'? I need a shave.
Kirk, James T. My crew sucks. When are we leaving?!
Sulu Waaaaah, the ship went crazy bananas! It was all trippy like you wouldn't believe. I'll get the blame!
Kirk, James T. Sulu nearly killed us all!
Chekov I saved the entire crew today with fancy shooting.
Spock Arrived back in space, nothing's changed. Saw old workmates. Bored.
Chapel Awesome, old crush is on board. I need dress advice, stat!
Kirk, James T. Spock says that cloud thing has feelings or something. I think he's out of his gourd, personally.
Ilia Oh, pretty cloud! Dies and is dead!
Ilia V2.0 I have been programmed by V'ger to observe and record normal functioning of the carbon-based units infesting USS ENTERPRISE.
Decker I think I still fancy the ex...
Kirk, James T. V'ger is a dumb name.
Ilia V2.0 I have been given its form to more readily communicate with the carbon-based units infesting Enterprise.
Kirk, James T. I think Ilia is broken. I wonder what happens if I push that button in her neck?
Spock Is still bored, I think I'll go out for a bit.
Chapel Made Ilia look daft with this garter belt I found. Much Lulz!
Spock Trip out interrupted events beyond my control, so annoying!
Spock told everyone the cloud is a big, living machine. I rawk!
Sulu hey, the cloud brought us to Earth in time for tea!
V'Ger Where's my creator? Does anyone know where the creator is?
V'Ger I'm really hacked off. I think I'll play a shoot 'em up with that planet.
Ilia V2.0 V'ger...
Kirk, James T I've organised a trip out to see this V'ger thing. I'll bring back photos.
Uhura I couldn't find some info on Google about V'ger, does this count as a Googlewhack?
Decker I think I'm going to stay here with the ex. She's not as annoying as I remember. Specially since the cyborg thing.
V'ger Found out my creator was some guy. Turned him into a ball of light and went to plaid.
Kirk, James T. Well, long day over, back to road trip! Out there, thataway!


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Fill In The Punchline Cartoon

Article by Polson

So the winner of the contest was...Jeremy! I had only twoother persons email their submissions. Thank you to Soka and Hampus who sent in some funnies!

Soka's Submission: "It is the my digital version of Logic for Dummies, with focus on probabilities and how to make them up."

Hampus' Submission: "That's where I keep my pet hampster, no one was supposed to find out, they're not allowed aboard!"

[Enlarge comic in a new window.]

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