Letter from the Editor

Article by Polson

While there might be several (rather one in particular) rants I'd like to go on this issue, I'm going to let that dog lie. No one reads this section anyway, right?

Anyway, this is more just to introduce you to this issue which is slightly special and more focused on the Anniversary. We have speeches and we have the interview questions from the weekend and whatever else I can think of throwing into this issue. So enjoy!

Polson
Acting Rear Admiral


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It's the end of the world as we know it

Article by Hobbie

They promised us change, telling us that they would revive the OTF dream. That if we all worked together we could make it happen. It was a year ago, and HAL and Iain had just been voted in office, their program gathering near-unanimous support.
With the starship fuel prices rising, the unpopular war on Onderon diverting credits from such critical tasks as cleaning the elevator shafts or making sure Wuher’s beer supply didn’t run out, and unemployment rising due to departments outsourcing a growing part of their production lines to cheaper places in the Google Galaxy and the Wikipedia Star Cluster, we all felt we needed something different than business as usual in the EC, a more direct approach to leadership than what those corrupt bureaucrats had delivered until then.

All sarcasm aside, I think we’ve come a long way since the last anniversary. There were a lot of ideas being thrown around at the beginning, and very few visible results. None of us liked that but a combination of real life concerns and old habits prevented us from helping it.
Altogether, it has been a pretty difficult year and I didn’t check the numbers but I’m pretty sure the chatroom population rate has been dropping. But, at the same time, the financial issues have been dealt with, the departmental structure has been streamlined, the server has been upgraded and now the chatrooms have been brought together, all of which will in my opinion be quite beneficial to us in the long term.

In our goal of transitioning away from our ST/SW/LOTR roots while making the chat more enjoyable to all, we have now given ourselves a good base to work on. There is still some work to do but with your help I am convinced that we can make it happen.
We are now asking for chat top submissions, and there is a team working on renewing our avatars and offering a wider choice. Next, we can come up with additional rank sets. And gradually we will get there. If I could ask anything of you, I would like to hear your thoughts on what is happening and your ideas on what we can do to improve things. At a time like this, we can’t afford to be disconnected, and I just want to point out that Polson and I are only an email away, we are willing to listen to any suggestion or criticism you might like to throw at us, and we will do our best to reply quickly. Mostly, I want to encourage you to be in the chatroom when you can. After all, more than genres or avatars, this is what OTF is supposed to be about...

Hobbie
Acting co-Rear Admiral


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Yearly Awards

Article by Polson

Over the past year there have been several people who have been key members of OTF for their efforts in making this community a better place through behind the scenes work, up front work or just being faithful chatters. Each award extends over the entire year and include some of those who have moved on but still left their mark. Without further ado, here are the awards for this 2007-2008 year of OTF:

Bronze:
CL4 Shadowfox
CL6 Shakeycat
CL4 Paige
CL4 Korny
CL4 Estelle
CL5 Lzrman
CL5 Naberrie
CL5 Andrew Norris
CL5 PR Moore
CL5 KypD
CL5 Harry Shires
CL6 Richard
CL6 XgermZ
CL6 Quark
CL7 *Cinna*
CL7 Demon Slayer

Silver:
CL4 Martyn Antilles
CL5 Pheeble
CL5 The Existentialist (Navi)
CL5 Wolf Brother
CL5 Richard Smith
CL5 Tiamai
CL6 Jaquaia
CL6 Drop73
CL6 Kaela
CL6 FM
CL7 Dmitri
CL8 Luc

Congrats to the Bronze and Silver award winners!

Here are the Gold and Platinum awards, we expounded a bit to give people an idea of why these people were given these awards during the Anniversary ceremonies. And then we promptly forgot to chatsave them so I’m doing my best at reconstructing the reasons. Bare with me.

Gold:
CL6 Dierna: Without her, we’d never know the latest sci fi news. She keeps us up to date on our favorite shows and never seems to take a day off. And not just this past year, but in previous years. She’s a real sturdy rock. That’s a compliment.

CL7 Bria Terrik: Previously this year, Bria was doing great work for the Senate. But she also has taken on the ISA in the past couple weeks to give Brandi a break. And throughout the year she has been a fantastic help on the Blue Report. Almost every issue happened because of Bria in one form or another.

CL7 Amanda Sielu Paris: Our dear lady did a bang up job as the Star Wars DSC earlier this year and we wanted to make sure she was recognized for it.

CL7 Kayana: Over the past year, particularly early on, Kayana has been a serious presence within OTF. She’s been a regular part of the Blue Report, but also was key within the OZD Star Trek Division of OTF. She was a great leader, patient and supportive and has a true servant heart.

CL7 Soka: Everyone’s favorite little Ewok! Soka was previously a member of the Senate and frankly we're all still stunned over the Ewok Affiliation. Recently she has also been a fantastic support within Trivia. Currently she’s working on the Avatars for OTF’s chat consolidation and doing a great job.

CL7 Queen of the Universe: QD was the Entertainment SM and did a fantastic job in that area. She also brought in a lot of ideas for the Senate and Executive Council which we did not want to be over looked. On top of that she has been a regular contributing member of the Blue Report team.

Platinum:
CL7 Mezoti: For clarification, Iain protested this award. Brandi will most likely hurt him later for saying such awful things about her. He was overruled though because Brandi has taken on the ISA after the three divisions were dismantled and is now doing the job of four people. A lot of work has gone into this on her part and we wanted to recognize the efforts she has been putting in, even though Iain didn’t want us to.

CL7 Majin Kaze: He is being recognized for his work with Trivia. He’s been performing consistently this year and the Trivia team has thrived in the wake of the departmental changes. On top of that he still finds time to haunt the halls of OTF’s chatrooms!

CL8 Ohm: Ohminion is one of those background tech guys that nobody remembers until something blows up and we need him to save us all from ISE’s and whatnot. It’s a thankless job and this is him being thanked for his behind the scenes technical work that has helped keep OTF going.

CL9 Polson: She has worked constantly this year for the Blue Report, keeping it running through sheer force of will during some months. She's also been an excellent source of candid advice, not to mention one of the people tagged for running the place. For the record, I didn’t write that for myself, Hal wrote it. I would have said something like, “she was every ISA bullseye this weekend except for two therefore Polson’s targeted rear end = amazing.”

CL9 Hobbie: He told me to make something up because he doesn’t remember what HAL said and neither do I. Instead I’ll tell horrible truths about him. Sometimes it’s the second in command who holds up the first in command and that is true of his work on the Blue Report for one thing. He’s also stepped up into a role to support the OTF community as a whole, despite the fact that he will most undoubtedly be blamed for everything.

CL11 Iain: Everything. And then some. Iain has been running ragged this year from putting the server back together, maintaining it, working in the chat consolidation coding, fixing OTF after the “incident”, dating Brandi, his dissertation…um, well you get the idea. He also fixed my email. Iain is OTF’s fixit guy and often gets the brunt end of the thank you stick. Thankfully he has a massive ego and recovers well from being bludgeoned by said stick.

CL12 HAL: This award was given against his will. HAL threatened annihilation several times when it was brought up that he should be recognized for his efforts this past year. His efforts in preserving OTF during its imminent server death were monumental and cannot be overlooked. Plus, Hobbie and I wanted to mutiny on our first day on the job. And it was Iain’s idea.

It’s also been decided to add a yearly award for the Team that has contributed with notable excellence on a regular basis in a manner that has benefited the whole of OTF. In light of this, a Team Award I randomly named "Contributing with Excellence" has been awarded to the Trivia Team for their over all performance this year. Special recognition is given to Soka, Robert Atkins, Richard Smith and Wolf Brother who have been major players within this Team.

And that are this years awards! If you feel you were overlooked or are wondering why you received the award you did, please Blame Hobbie.

Polson
Acting Rear Admiral


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Team Leader Speeches

Article by Polson

The following are the various Team Leader speeches! Traditionally these are shared at the Anniversary but due to timing and life and such many were unable to be at the Anniversary in person so we’ve put up a few speeches here in the Blue Report for your viewing pleasure. And for fun I gave them all introductions that could be book titles.

Harry and the Film Guild
Hi everyone! Its been a few months now since I took over as Team Leader of the Film Guild, and I just wanted to say a few words about it this evening (and possibly throw a few plugs in too) :P

The Film Guild has been out of the limelight recently due to internal restructuring and the development of an action plan for the coming months. The set is now all ready to bring us centre stage and we are now looking towards the membership so we can start "filming." :D

If you have an interest in films/TV, or an interest in a specific genre, then I would love to hear from you. If you have any skills in graphics or programming, then I would love to hear from you. Going forwards, I want the Film Guild to be OTF's most talked about guild, and it is going to be a real team effort.

You can email me for more information (harry@outpost10f.com). I will be spamming the updates board in due course too in case you forget :P

Soka and the Avatars
The Avatars Team is one of the newest additions to OTF, so there is not much I can say about our activities of the last year. I will instead use this to outline what we hope to in the future.

We will in short be responsible to maintain and update the selection of Avatars, as well as organizing Avatar-related activities.

At the moment this consists of creating new Avatars for the new wider range that OTF will soon include. Once the bulk of that has been completed, the currently existing ST, SW and LotR avatars will be attended to: bad ones getting deleted or replaced, new ones being made and in general looked over.

I hope for a successful year - and many new good avatars by the 12th Anniversary!

Ohm and the Hall of Internal Development
Internal Development. It sounds rather formal doesn't it? As if it were the subversive wing of a paranoid government rather than a team for a chat based web site. While this mystic is certainly a captivating part of the culture of the team it's a mere veneer which distracts from the more bland truth.

I took over the reigns of Internal Development when Iain transcended into the role of Quadrant Commander. The membership includes some names which have gone as far back as to the laying of the foundations of the Outpost, so there's a subtle yet tangible pressure on its members to live up to past successes. From safeguarding the server from malicious intent to importing smilies to use on special occasions the aspects that define our roles are diverse and subsequently very much rewarding.

Programmers have a history of never explaining themselves; it's a bad habit which has perpetuated itself with the evolution of Internet culture. Perhaps this is the reason why traditionally the team has no output or forum for communication outside of it's realm of projects. No matter though, here we are in the Blue Report now and perhaps you're interested in what we are currently doing.

Currently the main thrust of our activity is focused on making two changes to the Outpost which will have a profound impact on the future chatting experience. One is the amalgamation of chat rooms and the doing away off department and the office rooms. The other is modifying the key elements that once held the various departments together, things like getting rid of all the old positions from the roster, amending the roster to be team based rather than departmentally driven, etc. After this who knows what we'll be up to, be assured though that a World of projects are waiting in the wings.

Exciting changes that I hope we can share in are what we will experience in this year to come.

Polson and the Blue Report
Yeah I figured, hey, why not make a speech? Originally my plan was to wing a speech in chat but I never ended up being around when/if they happened (I don’t even know, that’s how unorganized I am) but since that never happened I also hoped to wing a pre-planned speech about winging my speech. That didn’t really happen either.

Okay back to the Blue Report. You’re reading it! I’m very proud of the work that goes into this publication every issue. I look forward to every release and I hope the rest of OTF does too.
With that in mind, this may be my last issue as the Editor, though that doesn’t by any means indicate I will not be continuing to contribute to the Blue Report. But, who knows what’s in store for the future?


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The Interview Blues

Article by Polson

During the anniversary, chatters were randomly asked various questions. Due to the volume of answers not all could be included, but we’ve tried to put in a wide range of responses! So OTF, here’s…you guys! (P.S. I may have fixed some spelling and punctuation. I’m a freak that way).

Why do you come to OTF?
Lzrman said, “To chat. Chat, Lurk and see if anyone from the old days returns.”
Cinna said, “Because I feel I belong here...and accepted here.”
Wolf Brother said, “Truth be told I'm trying to pick up. And by truth I mean lie, and by lie I mean lie.”
PR Moore said, “I come to OTF because someone told me I could find the last Chaos Emerald here and I could at last become SuperPat. *nods*”

What was your first impression of OTF/TF/CCC, etc. etc.?
Candice said, "Wow. I can't believe there are so many losers in one place. Why am I here again?" But then I learned to become a loser, so it's all good now. ”
Jemmet said, “10 years ago I thought it was a trip. Now I'm pretty comfortable in here. Like coming to an old pub in a town you only visit once a year...”
Korny said, “ ‘OMFGAWESOME’ until I promptly lost the URL for several years.”
Firenaut said, “Shiny.”

PR Moore said, “I thought was around the most uptight people I ever met in my life, for realz.
To which Polson replied, “Pat, really? This was like the only chat I didn't get kicked out of.”
And then PR Moore answered, “Oh yeah, for like the first three days. After that, it was all cool beans after that.”

How would you describe OTF to your friends?
Korny said, “A dimly lit dive ...on the internet.”
PR Moore said, “They do not know of this place's existence. It's like with Vegas: "What happens in OTF, stays in OTF." *nods*”
JD said, “I live in the south, after explaining it everyone just thinks I'm talking to ghosts.” Katrina said, “I call it "the place where I met Alexis"...and leave it at that.”
Firenaut said, “It's the shiznit, you! I mean you haz t3h Star Trek! teh Star Wars!, OFF THE HOOK!”

What is your favourite OTF moment since its inception?
PR Moore said, “When Sting beat Hogan for the title at Starcade 97'. Oh wait, that was WCW. What about that one time CT beat Keith for the OTFFC Heavyweight Championship belt, that was awesome.”
PR Moore said, “When Sting beat Hogan for the title at Starcade 97'. Oh wait, that was WCW. What about that one time CT beat Keith for the OTFFC Heavyweight Championship belt, that was awesome.”
Lzrman said, “you make it sound like OTF had birth of something the food fights and random phaser fights. The office party, the tainting of the ISA Cooler and the admirals bar fridge. EBN banned me.”
Hobbie said, “January 22, 2003. After that, Hobbie joined, and it's all gone downhill from there. ”
Katrina said, “Peoples. Yeah. I can't pick one. We've had too many good times. The day with the pickles was fun. The day with the sandwich thing was fun.”
Polson said, “I think anytime Liz, Katrina, Jayne and I got into a chat room together was pretty awesome. For some reason with us even the lamest thing was fun, regardless of the OTF policies or politics of the day. The egg roll on the floor, the butt-licking ostrich, just all around juvenile behavior that ended up drawing others into our lunacy. Good times.

What was your OTF highlight over the past year?
Majin said, “Briefly having a Trivia strike. Granted, I can't remember the rest of the year.”
Fats said, “Hoochie Momma Cruise of 2008 *nod* it may not have been a Union but it involved OTF'ers.”
Bikepolar said, “Yesterday, when I found you guys.”
Lzrman said, “Getting Demoted ”
Hobbie said, “I don't know... The Amsterdam get together, maybe.”
Luc said, “My retirement from OTF!”

If we had an OTF time capsule, what would you put in it?
Jeremy said, “Yala Bravo's brilliant wit. ”
Bikepolar said, “I have Photos of my Grandmother the founder of Empathy fan club in Starfleet uniform from the 1970's.”
Hobbie said, “My Fry avatar. It'd be fitting.”
Keith, who clearly couldn’t decide, said, “a nice bottle of wine. because each time I try to put it away to let it age, I end up looking for it and drink the dang thing no wait! even better! my Lt Commander pips...because I sure ain't wearin' 'em anymore. Lzrman. Let a future generation of OTFers put up with him *l* real answer here... a picture of Michiel so a future generation can know how hilarious of a guy he was.”
Sym said, “I'd put Polson in. She is as timeless a piece of OTF history as anything else. ”
Cinna said, “hmm.. a 3 musketeers bar a bunny with a tiara on it, and my BIB outfit that damn picture Micha Bravo had of the afro bunny......horrid thing it was ”
Lzrman said, “Ray.”

A few of us getting buried alive. Excellent.

If you could be any sci fi character, who would you be? Why?
Katrina said, “Inara. 'cause she's so graceful and pretty and respected and does what she does.”
Hobbie said, “Pretty much any starfighter pilot would be great. I've always like Wedge, in particular...”
Polson said, “Sam Carter. She is the coolest ever. Smart, beautiful, funny, kickass, respected; pretty much everything I wished I was.”
Majin said, “Luke Skywalker.”
Fats said, “Mr T.”
Keith said, “Not that I officially know anything about Star Wars or Star Trek... but Mace Windu. I mean, c'mon...its Mace Mother Effing Windu!”
Cinna said, “Deanna Troi...cause... wait…I am her I should have said Leia…cause she has the ultimate sticky buns ”
Bikepolar said, “Q.”
Korny said, “BOOONES! Cause uh..Bones. *nods*”
Lzrman said, “Robert Picardo, why because he's awesome! Voyager and Stargate/Atlantis, he's a real leader.”
PR Moore said, “I be Han, he was just a smooth, straight-talking smuggler.”

If you could be another OTFer for one day, whose shoes would you want to walk in? Why?
Fats said, “I already wear woman’s shoes as often as it is. And night dresses.”
Naberrie said, “I'd like to be Michiel Then again, he's not really an OTFer anymore. ”
Keith said, “CT...because he's a legend and he has the upmost respect from the entire community. I think I'm a badass...I'm nothing in his shadow.”
Cinna said, “Hmm…Kapeka...cause she lives in Hawaii...and the fact she can find the good in almost anyone and such a sweet person. I always admired her for that ”
Majin said, “I'd want to be in Polson's shoes. Just to feel the power of awesome.”
Korny said, “Korny. She's an über sexy beast. ”
And Hobbie said something dumb about his foot size so I deleted him.

If you could rule OTF for a day, what would you do with such vast powers?
Katrina said, “Fix it.”
Korny said, “Give everyone embarrassing avatars. ”

If you could give a promotion to any member, who would it be and why?
Korny said, “Me, cause that'd be the only way I could have custom avatars. ”
Firenaut said, “Me! Because I said so!”

Compelling argument, Firenaut. I’m convinced! Anyway, that’s the interview folks! Thanks for playing and thanks for reading!


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Promotions

To CL5:

  • Paige Eris Soul (SW) - For her Trivia work. Or her constant asking for a custom rank. I forgot. In any case, congrats Paige!
  • To CL3:

  • lord Garth (ST)
  • RoryVegas (ST)

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    Dear Aunty Shadowfox...

    Article by Mr Numbahs

    Dear Aunty..

    My boyfriend won't get off the video games! He won't eat and only sleeps once he passes out from lack of sleep! What do I do!?

    -Worried Wilma

    Dear worried Wilma,

    Unplug it. Hide it. And blame it on the cat.

    -Shadowfox


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    OTF Blues: Polson & Hobbie at the helm

    Article by Polson

    Featuring Cinna, the Sith Lords, Hal, Hobbie and myself. Picturesque of Hal giving Hobbie and I the keys to the outpost for a few days. Special thanks to my Dad who, when I told him about the situation, said, "You should put that in your next cartoon and have the little darth guys in it!" He likes the darth guys.

    [Enlarge comic in a new window.]


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    The REAL story behind Star Wars... part XXI

    Article by Queen of the Universe

    90. INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - CENTRAL HOLD AREA AND FREE BAR.

    Ma-jin watches Osiris practice the lightsaber with a small "seeker" robot. He's doing okay for someone with two left feet and has only singed the floor once. Ma-jin suddenly turns away and sits down. He falters, seems almost faint. Sauron is on the rise.

    OSIRIS
    Are you all right? What's wrong? Was it my cooking? I know I don't prepare very good Bantha burgers, but the imitation blue milk tasted fine.

    MA-JIN
    I felt a great disturbance in the Force... as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced, a bit like getting rejected on Pop Idol over a massive scale. I fear something terrible has happened, like season two of Heroes.

    Ma-jin rubs his forehead, there is a small squeaking sound. He seems to drift into a trance, or dozes off. Then he fixes his gaze on Osiris.

    MA-JIN
    You'd better get on with your exercises, wave the lightsaber around some, it always looks gosh darn impressive when fanboys give it a go, even if they can't do anything else.

    Hobbie Solo enters the room with a jaunty walk, thanks to uneven floor plating.

    HOBBIE
    Well, you can forget your troubles with those Imperial slugs *preens*. I told you I'd outrun 'em. You may all kiss my feet.

    Osiris is once again practising with the lightsaber, spinning it around and around with one hand. Indeed, it looks most impressive if ultimately pointless (as my fencing tutor always said - you leave yourself open, you see, pointless... ahem).

    HOBBIE
    Don't everyone thank me at once, and mind the furniture with that thing, we just re-upholstered in faux suede.

    Deepio watches KypDBacca and Ajay who are engrossed in a game in which three-dimensional holographic figures move along a chess-type board. That would be chess then, making the board round makes no difference at all.

    HOBBIE
    Anyway, we should be at Alderaanduran about oh-two-hundred hours, which is two in the morning for you non-space types *smirk*. See, Kyppy, told you learning that wasn't silly.

    KypDBacca (ignoring Hobbie) and the two robots sit around the lighted not-chess table covered with small holographic monsters (the table, not KypDBacca and the droids, though that sounds like a great band). Each side of the round table has a small computer monitor embedded in it. KypDBacca seems very pleased with as she rests lanky fur-covered arms over her head.

    DEEPIO
    Now be careful, Ajay, we already have three hits on our battleship.

    Ajay immediately reaches up and taps the computer with his stubby claw hand/weeding tool attachment, causing one of the holographic creatures to walk to a new square on the round board (can you have squares on a round board?). A sudden frown crosses KypDBacca's face, barely visible under all the fuzz and he begins yelling gibberish at the tiny robot. Deepio -who speaks gibberish fluently- intercedes on behalf of her small companion and begins to argue with the huge Wookiee.

    DEEPIO
    He made a fair move. Screaming about it won't help you, plus, breath mint much?

    HOBBIE (interrupting - when doesn't he?)
    Let her have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookiee, though yeah,*mumbles to himself* breath mint much.

    DEEPIO
    But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid! Droid rights and peace!

    HOBBIE
    That's 'cause droids don't pull people's arms out of their socket when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that - amongst other amusing acts of irrational violence. Why, this one time we were in this bar, and I was chatting up this girl with a really big pair of ears-

    DEEPIO
    I see your point, sir, despite the fact you've obviously never seen the giant, arm-ripper droids of Spagbol 4. Still, I suggest a new strategy, Ajay. Let the Wookiee win, *softly* you can set fire to her fur later, when she's asleep.

    Osiris stands in the middle of the small hold area; he seems frozen in place. A humming lightsaber is held high over his head, which is a pretty useless fighting stance if you ask me because he's left himself open again and *snip*. Ma-jin watches him from the corner, studying his movements, probably thinking the same thing. Hobbie watches with a bit of smugness - so no change there.

    MA-JIN
    Remember, a Jedi can feel the Force flowing through him, like a good curry.

    OSIRIS
    You mean it controls your actions?

    MA-JIN
    Partially, well, not the curry. But it also obeys your commands.

    Suspended at eye level, about ten feet in front of Osiris, a "seeker", a chrome baseball-like robot covered with antennae, hovers slowly in a wide arc. The ball floats to one side of the youth then the other, perhaps trying to hypnotise him. Suddenly it makes a lightning-swift lunge and stops within a few feet of Osiris's face. Osiris doesn't move and the ball backs off in a huff. It slowly moves behind the boy, then makes another quick lunge, this time emitting a stream of peanuts as it attacks. They hit Osiris in the leg causing him to tumble over. Hobbie lets loose with a burst of laughter.

    HOBBIE
    You've been a-salted! Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid, or a rolled up newspaper.

    OSIRIS
    You don't believe in the Force, do you? Not that I did until about three hours ago, but still...

    HOBBIE
    Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. *Deepio mutters something that sounds like 'Spagbol 4'* I've seen a lot of strange stuff, like that chick with the ears, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field that controls my destiny. Damn, if there was, I'd never get naked in the shower again.

    Ma-jin smiles quietly.

    HOBBIE
    It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense. I'll bet he'll be wanting you to spend three days in a block of ice next, or at the top of a tall pole.

    MA-JIN
    I suggest you try it again, Osiris.

    Ma-jin places a large helmet on Osiris's head which covers his eyes (no, not his head).

    MA-JIN
    This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct. That first part shouldn't be too hard for you.

    OSIRIS (laughing)
    With the blast shield down, I can't even see. How am I supposed to fight? Gah, this thing smells like armpit.

    MA-JIN
    Your nose can deceive you. Don't trust it.

    Hobbie skeptically shakes his head as Ma-jin throws the seeker into the air. The ball shoots straight up in the air (I think we already ascertained that), then drops like a rock. Osiris swings the lightsaber around blindly missing the seeker, which fires off a volley of nuts which hit Osiris square on the seat of the pants. He lets out a painful yell and attempts to hit the seeker, managing to clip the tassle from a nearby throw cushion instead.

    HOBBIE
    Hey, the decor!

    MA-JIN
    Stretch out with your feeeeeelings *gives a mystic finger wiggle*.

    Osirs stands in one place, seemingly frozen. The seeker makes a dive at Osiris and, incredibly, he manages to deflect the next round of peanuts. They ping off around the room and Hobbie catches one in his mouth. The ball ceases fire and moves back to its original position.

    MA-JIN
    You see... actually you can't with that hat on, but yeah, you can do it.

    HOBBIE (munching)
    I call it luck.

    MA-JIN
    In my experience, there's no such thing as luck.

    HOBBIE
    So what? The pan-sector Lotto winners all use the force? Look, good against peanuts is one thing. Good against the living, non-snack based critters? That's something else.

    Solo notices a small light flashing on the far side of the control panel, below which is written 'brake now'.

    HOBBIE
    Looks like we're coming up on Alderaanduran.

    Hobbie and KypDBacca head back to the cockpit, the latter shedding fur and stray peanuts.

    OSIRIS
    You know, I did feel something, aside from the fool. I could almost see nuts.

    MA-JIN
    That's good. You have taken your first step into a larger world of pain and robotic limb replacements. Keep it up!


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