Sometimes your best isn't good enough
Article by Hobbie
Here we go again, as punctual and dependable as your average postal service, bringing you the lastest edition of the Blue Report.
Things were rather quiet this month, with summer here and the anniversary coming up being the likely reasons for it. As a result, there might be a little less to read this time around. You will also possibly notice that the interviews have disappeared. Due to some confusion, we decided to take a give them a pass and restart them next month so as t oall be on the same page.
Enjoy the read, and the summer vacations, for those of you that have them!
Hobbie
Acting Editor-in-Chief
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Faboo One-Zero-Division-Update
Article by Polson
Greetings and salutations my fellow, uh, fellows. And girls. I guess the girls are my fellows and the boys are the fellas. Haha!
Well it has been fun, fun, fun non stop in the OZD! First off, we finally got rid of Aeon. We dumped her off on the Wizards. Ha!!! Now they're stuck with all her hard work and amazing graphical talent. Suckers! Then we saw fit to dispatch Ayanna. She simply has too much to do around here and really the OZD is a fancy way to waste time. Well...not really. For me it is. But for Ayanna, she has lots of things to do. So we dispatched her. I already said that didn't I. Well then there is Cinna. And...I can't talk about that right now, for me the grief is still too recent. But we shall miss all three of these faboo ladies who bring so much to everything they do. Thanks Aeon, Ayanna and Cinna for your fabooness!!
Next on my agenda, and I do have an agenda, a rather tight agenda after that last fabricated update, I apologize for addressing real issues. Uh, where was I? Oh yes, the Amazing Race! Thanks to all who worked on it, especially Ayanna (see, I told you she does everything). Coming in 1st:
CL6 Blake, 2nd: CL4 Lzrman and 3rd Cl6 Mezoti, and the
winning word was "Schematics". I'd have picked the word "faboo" personally, but that might be why I wasn't running the game.
Other projects in the works include the upcoming anniversary (yay!) and the push for OTF presence on ST sites world wide. That sounds really important. World wide. I suppose it is the world wide web though. Anything on the web is world wide. Hey! This article is world wide! Yay!
Lastly, the Murder Mystery game has just wrapped up with the winners to be announced shortly. I don't know about you all but I have really, really enjoyed watching the game when I've gotten a chance. Well done everyone!!!
Faboo word, yo.
Polson
Department of Something or Other
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The Senate Update: Pure Gonzo Journalism
Article by Bria
We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like, "I feel a bit light-headed, maybe you should drive", when all of a sudden there was a great roar all around us, and the sky was full of what looked like giant bats, all screeching and swooping around the car.
Ok, so what has been happening in the Senate this month, you may ask? There's been the usual debates, bickering, and clandestine meetings with shadowy figures. Apart from that, we staged a celebration in honour of 30 years of Star Wars. There were trivia events, and I'm pretty sure someone mentioned a murder conspiracy type of contest which I know little about. I don't even know who won it. Maybe nobody. That would, in my current situation, prove rather convenient. Anyway, where was I? Yes, celebration. Ooh, I love weddings. Drinks all round!
I also heard rumours of new avatars for the CCC. Don't ask me for details; it's not as if I'm anywhere near the loop, never mind in it. I believe Majin went to a Star Wars celebration thing and will be reporting on that any day now. Or maybe he won't. But he went to it, anyway, that much I am sure of. Yes darling, we shall have a magnificent tea party, and you're not invited. But only if you bring the drinks.
Anyway, this article was going to be a gross salute to the endless possibilities of life in this country; a classing affirmation of everything good and true in the American dream. But only for those with true grit, and we are chock full of that! And if you're not, well, we'll just have to punch you in the face and bury you somewhere, because it goes without saying we couldn't let you loose. You'd turn us in at once to some hardline outback law-enforcement agency and they'd run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that, or just think it? Did they hear me?!
Clear skies!
Raoul Duke
Senator of Cardallia
in association with
Dr. Gonzo
One of God's own prototypes: too weird to live, yet too rare to let die.
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The Wizard Brief
Article by Bryce
Where to begin? It seems like one month the Wizards are doing nothing and the next month they are doing everything. I guess that's the way things go, though.
Firstly, the Wizards finished organizing the
Harry Potter events for the release of both the new
Harry Potter movie and book. A trivia and a book discussion have been worked out with the respective departments; keep a look out on the departmental updates board for the exact date and time of these events. And remember, keep any spoilers to yourself.
Secondly, the Wizards are planning some major changes to the Minas Tirith chat room. I'll keep these changes confidential for now; just be aware that we are making significant progress on them, and that once completed, the fantasy sector's chat room will be much unlike the others.
Thirdly, the Wizards team has
stolen hired a new member, Aeon. Upon her request, Aeon transferred from the One-Zero Division; you can be assured that we'll put her design skills to good use.
Lastly, on a small note, the Wizards team has changed its name from the Wizards of Minas Tirith to the Wizards Council. We hope that it will be seen as more of a general fantasy name.
And that's it from the fantasy sector.
Blake
Grey Wizard[
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Promotions
To CL4:
Estelle (ST)
Wolf Brother (FY)
To CL3:
J Solo (SW)
jag deviss (SW)
Joran (SW)
Matthew Stardreamer (SW)
SrColt (ST)
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Rank-O-Matic
Article by Aeon
Madness, malfunctions, murder ... and even alliterations in the Rank-O-Matic Headquarters (*giggles quietly to self at the thought of a Rank-O-Matic HQ*)!
In other words: Welcome to yet another edition of the Blue Report's
Rank-O-Matic!
Apparently, the audience loves me. Which doesn't surprise me a single second, because I'm the Queen of Wheee, and that's also the reason why I'm writing this here, but
also the reason why you're gonna see me with this title in the chat from now on. Also, I'm officially in charge of the Rank-O-Matic now. Yay me. Which was a bit confusing for a moment, because... at first it was Iain's, then Kayana's, temporarily it was Polson's, then it was mine, only for Iain to come back, thinking it was his, me standing up, claiming my right... told you it was madness. But now
Iain is off to see people across an ocean Polson is still in the camp Kayana is still dancing with Gwen Stefani justice has prevailed, and the Rank-O-Matic is mine.
Until further notice.
So, without further ado
and babbling... Last month, the lovely
moi was the victim of the month, and... you guessed it already... I'm getting the rank "Queen of Wheee" now.
Permanently, I might add.
The ever wonderful
CL7 Osiris is responsible for this, and henceforth the winner, and this is her award:
In true Aeon-style I have decided that Osiris is also next month's victim.
(Click chatsave to enlarge)
So, if you ever wanted to give Osiris a funny name without risking an instant Type X, then this is your chance!
Submit a rank, and do it now while I'm trying to find a place where she can't find me for choosing that particular font for her award.
Be happy!
The Official Queen of Wheee
aka The Blue Report Mascot[
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The REAL story behind Star Wars... part XIV
56. EXT. SPACE. THE STARSHIP ENTERPRISE ZOOMS TOWARD ANOTHER GENERIC *snip*
An Imperial TYE-DYE fighter races toward the Vespa with a sound akin to cats on a chalkboard.
57. INT. IAIN VADER'S VESPA OF DESTRUCTION- DETENTION CORRIDOR.
Two stormtroopers play tic-tac-toe and finally manage to open an electronic cell door, allowing several Imperial guards to enter. Princess Bria's face is filled with defiance and covered in chocolate, (not from a hidden stash of Fererro Rocher, oh no, not at all...) which slowly gives way to fear as a giant black torture robot enters, followed by Darth Iain Vader (though how you can tell them apart from that description is anyone's guess, I mean, come on Imperials, colour your torture robots pink and add some glitter, it'll lull them into a false sense of security. Why am I not running the galaxy? I'd so pwn this, why I'd *snippity snip!*).
IAIN VADER
And, now Your Highnessness, we will discuss the location of your hidden Rebel base and... is that chocolate across your upper lip or five oclock shadow?
The torture robot gives off a steady beeping sound as it approaches Princess Bria and extends one of its mechanical arms bearing a large hypodermic needle and a washcloth. The door slides shut and the long cell block hallway appears peaceful, indeed, a few plants and it would be downright cutesy. The muffled screams of the Rebel princess are barely heard above the sound of muzak. I think its the Kessel mine singer's version of 'Genie in a bottle'.
58. EXT. TATOOINE - WASTELAND- BBQ PIT
There is a large bonfire of Jawa bodies blazing in front of the Sandcrawler as Ma-Jin and the robots finish burning the dead, they don't cook the burgers the way a nice pack of charcoal bricks might, but when in the wastes you have to make do. Still the chicken wings are almost done . Osiris drives up in the speeder and Ma-jin walks over to him.
MA-JIN
There's nothing you could have done, Osiris, had you been there. You'd have been toasty flakes too, and the droids would be in the hands of the Empire. Here, have a smoothie and a chicken wing.
OSIRIS
I want to come with you to Alderaanduran. There's nothing here for me now. I want to learn the ways of TEH FORCE and become a Jedi like my father... are there any corn cobs?
59. EXT. TATOOINE - WASTELAND- DOWN THE ROAD A BIT
The Landspeeder with Osiris, Ajay, Deepio and Ma-jin in it zooms across the desert. The speeder stops on a bluff (thank goodness the brakes worked, though I still feel driving full tilt at a sheer drop is slightly foolish) overlooking the spaceport at Mos Eisley Bros. It is a haphazard array of low, grey, concrete structures and semi-domes, not at all like the busy metropolis some later trilogies might otherwise indicate. A harsh gale blows across the stark canyon floor, a white plastic bag floats past. Osiris adjusts his Superdoopergreenblinkylightnightvisiongoggles and walks to the edge of the craggy bluff where Ma-Jin is standing.
MA-JIN
Mos Eisley Bros Spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious. (No, really? Way to build a place up there Ma-jin. No Tatooine tourist board job for you!)
Ma-jin looks over at Osiris, who gives the old Jedi a determined smile. Ah, he gets over the death of the only blue milk he's known so quickly. Whatta guy!
60. EXT. TATOOINE - MOS EISLEY BROS- STREET- THE ONLY STREET MIGHT I ADD.
The speeder is stopped on a crowded street (the only street, remember, I've played Lego Star Wars, so I know) by several combat-hardened stormtroopers (hardened in the fact they actually hit the side of the barn in shooting practise) who look over the two robots. A trooper questions Osiris.
TROOPER- SOOPER TROOPER BEAMS ARE GONNA BLIND ME, SHINING LIKE THE SUUUUN!
Whoah! Dude How long have you had these gnarly droids?
OSIRIS
About three or four seasons, I lost the receipt, sorry.
MA-JIN
They're for sale if you want them, and the gold one has a sarcasm problem.
SOO- PA-PA TROO-PA-PA
Sarcasm, nice, that's like words with hidden meaning, dude. Let me see your identification, like, now or something.
Osiris becomes very nervous as he fumbles to find his driver's license while Ma-jin speaks to the trooper in a very controlled voice and through a plastic comb covered in tissue paper.
MA-JIN
U don't needs to C hiz identifeekashun.
TROOPER
Ah, man! We seriously like don't need to see his identification, dudes.
MA-JIN
Theez iz not teh droydz ur lukin fer.
TROOPER
Hey, wow, these droidy things, they totally don't be the ones we got on our listy thing.
MA-JIN
He kan goez bowt hiz bizneez.
TROOPER
Hey blond dude, you can like, freely roll this ride of yours outta here.
MA-JIN
(to Osiris)
Move along.
TROOPER
Have a nice stay man, cruise on by dudes! Woah, they were totally rad peeps!
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