When I was asked, and by asked I mean told, to do an entercom article, I was against it. Then there came mention of whips. Now seeing that I’m against violence, well violence against my person, this was a major motivating factor in the world of
The FM.

So I guess with that Introduction I should have your attention so, lets tell you all of the little story of the FM that could.

It happened a long long time ago in a city far far away, well Atlanta 2000, it was hosting the international youth Conference. I was lucky enough to be able to go on behalf of my Youth Organisation.

The journey was long and arduous, now I hate flying at the best of times, now this was even worse for me. Because to calm me down when flying I used to Knit, now I like to have the appearance of a Manly man, a manly manly man, and you can't get that when you are a 13 year old knitting on a plane, you look a bit pansy-like I have to say.

So we arrive in Atlanta, their airport sold nuts, I bought some, the only reason I mention them is because the play a major Role in the coming story. *inserts some dramatic music*

So setting the scene we had I think it was about 2000 school kids from around the world, debating the current events. Now, back then I wasn't a big fan of politics, I only went cos it was both free and it meant me missing a week of school, always
A good reason to do things. I think I made that my motto in life,
"It’s free? It means Missing school? Right, what do I need to do?"

So this 4 day conference had to have been the biggest waste of time and money ever, they paid for the conference hall, the Hotel rooms, the food amongst other things, and what good was having a bunch of kids from 13 to 16 sit about discussing Problems that may want to change but have no ability to. Ahh well we'd be better of with a dictatorship with AJ at the helm, but that’s my humble opinion.

The main bulk of my story starts off at debate I was pretty much forced to go to by the chaperone.

"Recycling" was the title of the Debate, I was pushed into the debate as the Scottish representative for this debate -the
Others had cooler things to go to = (- The conference hall was filled with representatives from other countries, from Austria to Zaire.
3rd world Countries were present the type that had nothing to recycle, looking back I made me kinda of sick but, I digress.

Low Lights got turned on, and a Video started to play talking about Recycling. After the end of the video a heated debate started, with both sides agreeing but differing on certain points, the points of which elude me today. Needless to say it was very heated

I had kept quiet most of the conference, all I really did was try and enjoy the weather, and catch naps in every meeting and Debate. That had occurred on the previous day. But this one for some reason caught my attention. So that Bag of nuts I had bought earlier I finally opened, and started to throw around the room, to cut the tension room, it pretty much worked,
People started to look at me, so the onus came upon me to say something.

Now I’m not an intelligent guy, I have trouble with most things. With that in mind, all I could say was

"Recycling is good, in fact it’s so good, I’m gonna to recycle this pack of nuts, and go buy another pack, eat them and then recycle that pack."

Not amazingly funny, I know but, for some reason I got a lot of applause and giggles. Thanks to that I was called Nut Man for The rest of the conference. I for some reason became really popular, and I had people from all the other countries talking to me. I enjoyed it, but I also had a hankering for some mischief...

On the final day of the conference, I planned to escape the hotel with a group of kids and run amuck in Atlanta.

Most of us stayed in a big hotel that had a security curfew on us all with electronic locks at 11pm at night, which reopened at 6am.

So being able to break out was a hard thing to plan. Looking back I think I was very James bond Esque in what I did, as the Chaperone was leaving to go to his room, I placed some sellotape on the locked of the door, so that when it closed, it wouldn’t be locked. With that my roommates and I were able to break out the room. The Plan was for Nut man (me) to get other
People out their rooms as well, I was able to pick 4 door locks but then got rapidly bored. That happens a lot with me. But the locks I opened were deliberate, I was able to open, the Irish room, the northern Irish room, the welsh Room and the English room. Using a Plastic fork, a shoe lace and a fridge magnet to open the electronic locks. Took the best part of an Hour on all 4 locks. I'm still proud of that to this day.

Continuing with the story, we escaped the hotel using the kitchen exit. And then we the members of the home nations started to harass the general public, of Atlanta, we pretty much run amuck like Chavs, I’m not happy about calling myself a chav, but
That’s that what we were like. It came to a head when the police were called to talk to us. Now, seeing the police walk down The Street in a foreign country is a scary thought, so we ran away, and had 2 patrolmen chase after us. Now this is the Type of police like we have in the UK, who don’t have guns. They can really say Stop or I’ll shout stop again. In America They have guns, so really we were all on a rush, but I didn't want all the kids to get into trouble on my behalf so I was Able to get them all to split up and I would take all the heat for what we were doing.

That’s right I got taken to a police station in Atlanta for being a chav, and Uncooperative with the police. So to put the fear Of God in me, they took me to the station. And there again, they asked my name, this time I replied, with nut man, But really The best part of this extremely long story is the next session; they made me sit on a couch and told me to wait.

I saw my chance, I shouted
"I claim diplomatic immunity" and ran out

To this day I still wonder if they have a warrant out for my arrest, but I’m almost certain they don't.

Although that wasn't the end of my woes a fate worse than death was waiting for me at the hotel, but that’s a story best told in person...