Bet you thought I disappeared, didn't you? Well, sorry to disappoint but I am back and the illustrious Shaker has hired me as a free-lance writer for the Tribune. The pay isn't great, but I do get a few credits here and there so Wuher still lets me have a drink at the Cantina. Since this month is the 20th anniversary of my favorite movie "Return of the Jedi", I wanted to tell you about my friend, The Sarlacc:
One of the largest examples of this creature lives out in the Tatooine Dune Sea at the bottom of the Great Pit of Carkoon. No one knows how it got there, as a plant based creature, it may have evolved from spores, but there are no records of its reproductive ways. It is a massive, omnivorous being with a great hook-like beak in a huge snakeish head rising fromthe center of the Pit, surrounded by many squirming, grasping tentacles. It appears, from what little research has been gathered (obviously, you can't get too close to the thing), that it only has one mouth, and the greatest part of the Sarlacc does live underground, buried many meters below the surface. The Sarlacc is permanatly rooted in its location, or doesn't travel, but its tentacles can reach as far as 4 meters to grab its food. Doubtless it has legs, unless they have adapted to root the Sarlacc in place.
The key to the Sarlacc's success is its unique digestive system, one that allows it to feed very very slowly. So it doesn't need to eat very often. After all, if each meal takes a thousand years to digest, who needs to eat breakfast every day, or even lunch once a week.
The Sarlacc was a favored means of execution for Jabba the Hutt (we'll save the Hutts for another time) and he thoroughly enjoyed spending an evening meal with the Sarlacc, feeding his enemies and opponents to it, while he dined on his favorite slimey morsels. Personally, I prefer good jazz to this kind of dining entertainment. Unfortunately, Jabba died on his last journey to the Great Pit, but the Sarlacc is probably still there, waiting for its next meal.
Some scientists think the Sarlacc is an animal, some think it's a plant. Regardless, according to my source, none other than Boba Fett (you do know who he is, right?), the thing does seem to have telepathic abilities. So, no matter what it is, it may just be semi-sentient.
For those of you who paid attention to the movie, you do know that dear Boba fell into the Pit. What you may not realize, unless you have researched the continuing adventures of our favorite Bounty Hunter, he escaped. Honest, he really did! That Mandalorian Armour saved his life one more time, but for months after he blasted his way out of the Sarlacc's stomach, he was in really bad shape. Lucky for him, he was rescued, recovered, and as far as we all know, is still knocking around the galaxy. For whatever reason, he donated the recordings from his helmet to science, and we now have a record of his time spent inside the Sarlacc.
Although it didn't, in a true sense, speak to Fett, they did converse telepathically, and the creature, or what was left of some of the sentitent minds it had consumed over the centuries, remained to pass along its story, and those of its victims. For details on Fett's experience inside the Sarlacc, we do suggest the Book 1 of the Bounty Hunter Wars, "The Mandalorian Armor (that's a real book). How he managed to escape and was rescued by Dengar and Neelah is quite the story! There are also references to the Sarlacc and Fett in other literary offerings that document historical and scientific events of our galaxy's history.
Fett did tell me that, about a year after he escaped, he did return to the Dune Sea and visited the Great Pit of Carkoon, and that he fired the engines of Slave II down the throat of the Sarlacc. Did he kill it? Who knows? If you want to know the answer, guess you'll just have to go to Tatooine and see for yourself.
Till next time, May the Force be with you :)
Sy
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