Star Wars - Ashi's Shame by Daniel Peyton

Article by R. K. Wigal

Prologue: A Jedi Alone

Echos of screaming children rang in Ashi's ears. Last nights dream was the darkest he experienced in years. The lingering memory of that horrible day taunted his unconscious mind. This was one of the reasons he spent so much time in meditation each afternoon.

The arid planes of Jahala were filled with the sweet aroma of grains. The summer sun blazed above and warmed the ground, the dried grasses waved gently in the breezes. Ashi strolled through the fields as he made his way toward the place he would sit.

In the distance, he could see the people like him going about their daily routines. Farming the fields and tending to the cattle. It was a simple life, one he envied. These were his people, the Jahalans. A race of cat-like humanoids. They weren’t technologically brilliant or space warriors. They were farmers. In fact, Ashi may be the only person alive among the Jahalans today to have left the planet.

Ashi was around five feet tall, with golden-brown fur covering his body. Around his head he grew a majestic mane of darker brown. Behind him, a long tail swung as he walked. He had a dark nose, puffy muzzled face, slit-pupil eyes. His ears were higher up on his head and stuck out from the mane. He wore no shirt, only utility pants. He was a typical Jahalan male, except for his unique talent in the force.

“Ashi, Ashi!” Two children ran up to him, their tails flipping around as they bound through the high grasses.

He smiled at them, “What is it?”

“Can you do it again? Can you make me fly?” The little girl bounced up and down with excitement.

Ashi shook his head, “No, Taka, I won’t. I was in deep meditation before and lifted you by mistake instead of that rock. Using the force isn’t for playing.”

“Awww, please!”

“No. Now go back to your homes. I'm going to sit by the waters again.”

The girl got a rather sneaky smile, “Gonna meditate again?”

“Yes, but I’m not using the force this time, only mental exercises.” He knew what she wanted.

Without another word the two children ran off, in search of the next thing to entertain them. Ashi laughed, he wasn't ever offended by their ignorance about the force. There hadn't ever been a Jedi among Jahalans before.

Ashi walked on toward a set of low hills that crept up toward the mountains in the distance. These hills had a river that cut through them. Cold Day Waterfall was a particular favorite location of Ashi's. The flow of the water over him drowned out everything and helped Ashi focus his thoughts on pure meditation.

The waterfall was surrounded by tall, thin trees with sparse foliage on their branches. It fell into a pool that drained at its base into the water table below. Ashi stopped at the edge, took off his pants, and then put a single clawed foot into the waters. There was a good reason it was called Cold Day, it made his fur bristle every time. After he was acclimated to the chilly temperature, he stepped deeper into it until he was directly under the flowing falls. He had previously moved a large boulder into place and used it to sit cross-legged under the flow.

“See the candle of the mind, focus on the flame.” He said to himself. In his mind he envisioned a candle burning in pure darkness. “The light banishes the darkness, the even light of peace.” He repeated the words of his former master. “I will focus on the light, not the dark. I will keep it lit, my breath will not extinguish the light.” His breathing became soft and steady to keep the flame from flickering.

He continued this steady focused breathing. The candle was his sole thought. After a while he changed his focus, “The darkness will lift, I will see the universe, I will see the force.” With his eyes still closed, the image of the candle remained but instead of darkness, he saw outer space. He could see the planet beneath him and the stars in the distance. He could feel the presence of starships passing through the system, their passengers and workers as shadows against the force.

A complacent smile graced his feline muzzle, his whiskers standing up a little taller. At this time no one was coming toward their planet. He always worried about raiders coming to pillage the defenseless world of simple farmers. Few marauders even cared to notice them, and that was fine by him.

Suddenly, he felt something, a straining feeling in him. He knew it well. It was the echo of the Jedi who were massacred ten years ago at the temple. He could sense the few out there who survived, who now struggle against the imbalance of the force. Darkness has spread deep across this new empire. The candle in his vision flickered and the flame became erratic. With a great thrust of his own spirit, he forced himself out of this deep meditation.

He opened his eyes and took a few breaths to gather himself after that. It took a moment to focus on the reality around him. “Why is this happening?” He muttered to no one. His time in meditation has become tainted more and more by this dark sensation around him.

Once again he closed his eyes and saw that candle in the darkness. This time, though, he did not reach out into the force. He merely settled his mind and spirit on the calming meditation. He couldn’t bare the pain, he couldn’t stand the shame in him of what he had done those ten years ago.