Fan Fiction: Kinda Sorta Klingon...

Article by R. K. Wigal

Eh'Eet was no ordinary Klingon.  In fact, Eh'Eet was no Klingon at all.  Eh'Eet was an Earther.  Abandoned as an infant, he was taken in by a Klingon couple who had no young of their own.  Their names were Teh'Ehst and Ku'Uk.  They were of the house of Gagh.  Teh'Ehst was a pretty good warrior, as warriors go.  Eh'Eet was a good son.  He wanted to be a warrior too...sort of.

      Being an Earther was troublesome for Eh'Eet, so his parents got him an operation to make him look like a Klingon.  This made Eh'Eet very happy.  Eh'Eet didn't have a pet targ like the other Klingon boys.  He had pet tribbles.  He was allowed keep the tribbles, but he had to keep them in his room, away from his parents.  This made Eh'Eet very happy too.

      Eh'Eet was schooled and trained as all Klingon boys are.  He learned well enough and he could hold his own in a fight.  But he preferred to dream and scheme.  And he liked to sneak his tribbles onto the training grounds with him.  He kept them enclosed in orbs to keep them from being discovered.  He loved his tribbles.

      As a true Klingon (heh heh), Eh'Eet sought honor.  His chance came, not on the battlefield, but in the annual, Empire wide Ka'Det War Games where two great armies of young warriors-to-be compete in mock battle.  Eh'Eet was in Red Army.  The enemy was Black Army.  Both armies were well concealed.  The first Army to discover the location of the other could vanquish its foe and emerge victorious.  The trick was how to find them first.

      Eh'Eet, the dreamer and schemer, thought and thought.  Then he got an idea!  He began throwing tribbled orbs in every direction.  When the orbs hit the ground, they popped open and tribbles popped out.  Sure enough, screeling tribbles betrayed Black Army and Red Army vanquished them.  Of course, Eh'Eet was the hero of the day.

      Eh'Eet never became a warrior.  For his "'Klingon' iniative" he was made curator of the Tribble Exhibit at Qa'Pla Na'Mahl Zoo.  And the Empire wide Ka'Det War Games had a new official motto and battle cry: "Eh'Eet Gagh!"